Jeffw

Jeffw, actor/artist, procrastinator, professional idiot & French. Do you enjoy my stuff? Thanks! consider supporting me: ;)

[Mark Watson, still here but very much also Bluesky @watsoncomedian]

I am going to hand-deliver three copies of my new novel (which is about people who deliver things) to the winners of the below competition. So there you go.

[Mockeree @mockeree]

BBC undecided on airing #GreggWallace and #JohnTorode programme

[Jeffw @Jeffwni]

@LeeMadgwick I can't get rid of my account on here for sad personal reasons but I try not to use it. I'll promote you more on Bluesky. It is nice for now there.

[Jeffw @Jeffwni]

@Fred_Delicious Cannot wait
(hi D! s'up? are you on Bsky yet?)

[Moose Allain Ꙭ @MooseAllain]

If you press the bottom of the cylinder, her legs collapse

[Jeffw @Jeffwni]

@almurray Nah, they're not burning anything 😁

[Jason @NickMotown]

If you’d like the same sort of silly, immature guff but without the relentless ads and frothing, aggressive conspiracy theorists (yet), I am also on the place with the azure overheads.

[Jeffw @Jeffwni]

@alexwinterstv Burn the heretic!!

[Jeffw @Jeffwni]

Checking an old military hat for size, I found a 1959 telegram stashed in the head band.
A tiny moment in family history treasured all these years ago

[Mockeree @mockeree]

“I’ve got a dodgy six.”

[Jeffw @Jeffwni]

If the p*rn bots could stop liking the same four random replies from years ago that'd be grand, thank you ta'

[Jeffw @Jeffwni]

cowards

[Jeffw @Jeffwni]

ᴱˡᵒⁿ ᴹᵘˢᵏ ᶦˢ ᵃⁿ ᶦᵈᶦᵒᵗ
Pass it on

[Jeffw @Jeffwni]

I mean, he just "invented" the toaster droid from Star Wars and the robot from I, Robot…
All remote controlled toys for now because of course we're nowhere near this kind of technology, but yeah, the future *sigh*…

[Jeffw @Jeffwni]

Every Robotic Expert: … in reality, it is more likely that we'll have hyper specialised robots that will excel at a specific task than able to adequately perform a multitude of complex ones
Musk: That's right! Human robots like in the flims!! *foams a bit at the mouth*

[Jeffw @Jeffwni]

Me: … so I said "Oh look, it's trumpet time!" then my wife sighed and asked "What do you mean?" so I sang "🎶Two to two!🎶" and that's when—
Doctor: Say no more. I can guess how your watch ended up *up there*. Just try to relax and take a deep breath, my gloves are a bit cold

[Jamie Smart @jamiesmart]

The new Bunny Vs Monkey hardback comes out on the same day as the Boris Johnson book. I can GUARANTEE my book is funnier, sillier, and less corrosive to national decency 🫡

[Jeffw @Jeffwni]

@EdGambleComedy Sir Ian McKellen was so impressed by his stay there, he even mentioned them by name on stage.

[Jeffw @Jeffwni]

Well, unsurprisingly, @EdGambleComedy was outstanding!
I really enjoyed the gig despite being a dad of five and being very tired 😁

[Jeffw @Jeffwni]

Yo! Any of my peep* at the Aber** Comedy Festival this weekend?!

*mutuals comedians
**Aberystwyth

Going to see @EdGambleComedy tonight and was wondering if any of you lovelies were about. 😁

[Jeffw @Jeffwni]

@EdGambleComedy If you stayed overnight by the way, I really hope you experienced the best that Aber has to offer… which is 20 miles down south of Aber, in Aberaeron at the Harbour Master.
The crispy cockles are to die for