Jen Schwab

Once went to the midnight premiere of Monte Carlo

[Jen Schwab @JenGSchwab]

This morning I went to urgent care at 7AM because WebMD convinced me I have a brain tumor that turned out to just be a scratch on my head. How’s your 2018 going?

[Jen Schwab @JenGSchwab]

Okay but can these two just kiss already? #EmilyInParisSeason5 #heatedrivalry

[weather @dsxf234161]

it snew

[Jen Schwab @JenGSchwab]

Did I just set an alarm to enter to win a Taco Bellt? Sure did. @tacobell

[Jen Schwab @JenGSchwab]

This did not age well.

[Jen Schwab @JenGSchwab]

Give me Armie Hammer or give me death

[Jen Schwab @JenGSchwab]

Took a gummy before the Jonas Brothers concert on Tuesday and locked in so hard that I thought I was their photographer @joejonas @nickjonas @nickjonas @jonasbrothers

[Jen Schwab @JenGSchwab]

@EmmelineMarie Oh you rich rich

[Washington State Dept. of Natural Resources @waDNR]

If he:

-Changes his entire look for you
-Travels 1,900 miles upstream to chase you
-Procreates and dies
-Replenishes an entire ecosystem with his carcass

He's not your valentine, he's a Chinook salmon

[Jen Schwab @JenGSchwab]

Why is Spotify taunting me like this?

[Jen Schwab @JenGSchwab]

Morning birthday texts ❤️❤️❤️

[Jen Schwab @JenGSchwab]

What are you doing with your Thursday afternoon?

[Jen Schwab @JenGSchwab]

Apparently Providence College got sad about their Dalmatian mascot dogs dying and instead of just making a fake Dalmatian, they decided on this?????

[Jen Schwab @JenGSchwab]

IM BETTER🍰2DAY💪🏼.
SOMETIMES I REACH WHAT I THINK IS MY LIMIT,
THEN REALIZE,IVE GOT MILES MORE”LIMIT”IN ME.SOMETIMES I GET ON,WHAT I”THINK”IS MY LAST NERVE,THEN FIND LOTS MORE”LAST NERVES TO GET ON.SOMETIMES I NEED 2 REGROUP,REBOOT GIVE”ME”A TIME OUT, THEN SAY FK THIS.I WONT STOP

[Jen Schwab @JenGSchwab]

You ever play wordle and just forget English?

[Jen Schwab @JenGSchwab]

Favorite part of #Beijing2022WinterOlympics is @AdamRippon saying “I need a drink” as soon as Mariah got off the ice. Same girl.

[Jen Schwab @JenGSchwab]

Fun fact: Weird Al was my first concert

[Variety @Variety]

Daniel Radcliffe to Play ‘Weird Al’ Yankovic in Roku’s First Original Biopic Movie https://t.co/McVJTzIG4S

[Jen Schwab @JenGSchwab]

Current mood:

[Jen Schwab @JenGSchwab]

Just woke up to my cat sitting on top of me with poop all over her and my house. 2022 is off to a great start.

[Jen Schwab @JenGSchwab]

@chrissyteigen Behind Her Eyes takes you for a wild ride

[Jen Schwab @JenGSchwab]

*instantly starts googling incidents in Belfast*

[Dolly Parton @DollyParton]

Me, after I win an argument.