Made Up Name

Snark incarnate, where carnate equals track pants. She/her. Not a hugger. Tired and grumpy. Bakes cupcakes.

[Made Up Name @JenO_Eh]

I’m actually worried I may one day forget about Four Seasons Total Landscaping between the crematorium and the dildo store and I don’t want to live in a world where I don’t have that memory.

[Made Up Name @JenO_Eh]

@SuzyQuzey My oldest will be taking lessons soon, but I’m not sure my anxiety is going to take too kindly to her driving.

[Made Up Name @JenO_Eh]

As parents of two unlicensed teenagers, we are full time taxi drivers. We see them twice a day. Once as they’re leaving the house, once after they’ve texted “actually can you collect us we have no way home.”

[Made Up Name @JenO_Eh]

@TX_Lisa We just have that as a centerpiece on one table and another empty jar with flowers as a vase.

[Made Up Name @JenO_Eh]

She gets one mayonnaise decoration.

[Made Up Name @JenO_Eh]

My favourite thing is this conversation:
Me to my husband - “Can you try this? Does it need more salt? Is it gross?”
Husband - “No, it’s good. It’s actually REALLY good.” Takes another bite.
“I know.”

[Made Up Name @JenO_Eh]

@schmutzie She vaguely likes mayo? She picks these themes to break me. She won and her actual theme is “birthday party.”

[Made Up Name @JenO_Eh]

My kid has asked for a mayonnaise themed birthday party. Previous birthday themes have been oranges (the fruit, not the colour), Queen (the band, not the person), and pickles. I think her goal has been to watch me fail and I think she finally won this year.

[Made Up Name @JenO_Eh]

8 hours of work. ~100 cupcakes baked, 60 cupcakes decorated, 20 cupcakes trashed (respect the science and substitute ingredients at your own risk), 20 extras frozen.

[Made Up Name @JenO_Eh]

I met a dog last night. His name is Yoki and his birthday is February 14, which makes him a real ladies’ man.

[Made Up Name @JenO_Eh]

I had several donuts for dinner. For 3 minutes, I was euphoric. Now I wish I was the kind of person who made better choices in life.

[Made Up Name @JenO_Eh]

I would never body shame, but…I will photoshop shame. The actual fuck? Specifically, the actual fuck is happening with this “neck”?

[Made Up Name @JenO_Eh]

Work road trip tomorrow to a meeting an hour and a half away with three coworkers. Of course, because I’m Extra, I spent $75 on Road Trip Snacks.

[Made Up Name @JenO_Eh]

Started looking at vacations for our 20th anniversary and my mind has decided that I’m not good enough to go on a couples-only vacation. I haven’t figured out why, but my anxiety is at a 10 and somehow pictures of the beach make me feel like shit. What the fuck.

[Made Up Name @JenO_Eh]

@adampknave 0% chance that thing isn’t possessed.

[Made Up Name @JenO_Eh]

@nonteentitan

[Made Up Name @JenO_Eh]

@jonniker I always wondered about thigh burns…

[Made Up Name @JenO_Eh]

I’m so hungry, but the eating rules make it not worth it. Plus my mouth is filled with bloody saliva I have no idea what I’m allowed to do with.

[Made Up Name @JenO_Eh]

I had a wisdom tooth removed a couple hours ago. I can’t spit, I can’t swallow (twss), I can’t use a straw, can eat or drink anything hot, if I brush my teeth, I have to let it drool out, the hole needs to clot, but I need to keep it packed with gauze. I AM SO CONFUSED.

[Made Up Name @JenO_Eh]

@SoCalAuthor ew

[Made Up Name @JenO_Eh]

@TheSarahFader Havarti is my favourite always. For snacking, in grilled cheese, on cold cut sandwiches, more snacking.