Alex Jenkins

Swindon. 27. Swindon Town Fan

[jt @scfcjt]

yeah just short back and saxon war helmet please mate

[Ellie @ElunedAnderson]

Bill Clinton was inaugurated as US president 31 years ago this week, and the boy is still younger today than the two candidates for the 2024 Presidential election.

[Karolina 🌷 @karolinamilena]

Arrived at work yesterday.

6 members of staff
2 abstracted to another area
1 bedwatch (double crew)
3 prisoners

Do the maths

[Jonny Sharples @JonnyGabriel]

Comedian Karl Porter’s slow-mo goal celebration is absolutely incredible

[Lewis Jones @recklessrapid]

Can’t sandpaper a football can you

[R @rjb_1998]

Canada has moved me

[Toby Tarrant @tobytarrant]

After hearing from Matt Le Tissier and Rickie Lambert from now on I'm only accepting science from ex-Southampton strikers

What does Graziano Pelle make of climate change? Does Marian Pahars think we're investing enough in renewable energy? Is Manolo Gabbiadini a flat earther?

[Jack @jdfuller_]

“Back it up”
Robinson in test cricket: 71 @ 21.15
Robinson against Australia: 16 @ 23.68
Robinson in Australia: 11 @ 25.54
Robinson this series: 5 @ 19.56
Australians with more wickets than Robinson this series: 1
But they’ll have you think he’s embarrassed by them every time

[big duntles @biglunty]

rejected first lyrics for losing my religion

[Becky Holmes hates spinach @deathtospinach]

I’ve been messaged by a few scammers recently so you can imagine how relieved I was to finally be contacted by a genuine celebrity (I asked him and he said it was really him)

It turns out that Hugh Jackman is every bit the gentleman I thought he would be, if a little formal…

[Haggis_UK 🇬🇧 🇪🇺 @Haggis_UK]

Mark Rowley(Metropolitan Police Commissioner) takes no nonsense from 30p Lee Anderson

"You're making selective comments based on a partial understanding of the law... if people want to be personally offensive, then write it in newspapers, I'm not going to answer those questions"

[nazir afzal @nazirafzal]

It’s “Courteous,” “Precedent” & “Thatcherite”
But then she was only Education Minister

[Paddy Power @paddypower]

Watford fans: It's absolutely pointless to sack Chris Wilder and hire our fourth manager of the season.

Watford:

[Paddy Power @paddypower]

“GARY, NO!!!”

DON’T GO BACK TO MATCH OF THE DAY!!

IT DOESN’T EVEN SHOW ALL THE GOALS!!

THERE’S EXPERT ANALYSIS!

YOU WON’T MAKE THE PUB FOR LAST ORDERS!!

GARRRYYYYYY!!!”

[talkSPORT @talkSPORT]

🇫🇷 After beating Monaco 0-1 away from home today, Will Still has led Reims to an 19-game unbeaten run in Ligue 1.

You know the rest…

[Eanna @Eanna00]

Oooh look at me, I'm Dupont, I can do whatever the fuck I want and it just works.

Grow up. #ENGvFRA

[Sunday League Hipster @HipsterManager]

So that’s Lineker, Wright and Shearer ruled out of MOTD this week, that leaves only one man…

Rumour has it that 30 year old Will Still has led Reims to an 18-game unbeaten run in all competitions.

Reims pay a £22,000 fine each match as he doesn’t have his UEFA Pro License

[Average Striker @AverageStriker]

'The fullback is caught out of position, but Tarkowski has to get tighter to Ivan Toney there'