Tijuana Lobotomy

I specifically said “no geeks”

[Tijuana Lobotomy @Jennifreshhhh]

@analissanatalia I haven’t had any ideas good enough to share!

[Tijuana Lobotomy @Jennifreshhhh]

They Are Putting Less Pink Mentos In The Mentos Tubes I Know It

[Tijuana Lobotomy @Jennifreshhhh]

Old hoes love keeping a box of Kleenex in the whip

[Tijuana Lobotomy @Jennifreshhhh]

Everyone thinks they want a soft mattress but too few people are brave enough to say they need a firm one

[Tijuana Lobotomy @Jennifreshhhh]

Enough with the hot honey

[Tijuana Lobotomy @Jennifreshhhh]

Happy 8 year anniversary to the time someone broke into my home and stole my car BUT closed the window after them so my cat didn’t get out 🫶🏻

[Tijuana Lobotomy @Jennifreshhhh]

Corn starch crazy fr

[Melech. @MelechThomas]

Wale's verse on "No Hands" belongs in the Library of Congress.

[Tijuana Lobotomy @Jennifreshhhh]

Venice is Italy’s answer to the Sacramento-San Joaquin delta

[Tijuana Lobotomy @Jennifreshhhh]

How many beers do you think they’ll let you have at chipotle before they ask you to leave

[Tijuana Lobotomy @Jennifreshhhh]

I feel like if several thousand cockroaches came together to form a person

[Tijuana Lobotomy @Jennifreshhhh]

Is mookie betts blasian

[Tijuana Lobotomy @Jennifreshhhh]

crying when members of opposing NFL teams help each other up🫶🏻

[Tijuana Lobotomy @Jennifreshhhh]

The only times I feel patriotic is when there’s a flyover at a sporting event and when USAA gives me a discount on my car insurance

[Tijuana Lobotomy @Jennifreshhhh]

I’m at the sports book with a head cold sneezing on cowboys fans

[Tijuana Lobotomy @Jennifreshhhh]

Sean McVay deeply reenforces my belief that men should not be blonde

[Tijuana Lobotomy @Jennifreshhhh]

When someone Venmo’s me instead of Zelle I feel like they don’t trust me

[Tijuana Lobotomy @Jennifreshhhh]

@CheddarRod @UPS I need that rain jacket!!!

[Tijuana Lobotomy @Jennifreshhhh]

A package of mine has been in a @ups warehouse for like a month USPS would never treat me like this