Jen Jacobson

life is short, smile while ya still have teeth

[Jeffree Star @JeffreeStar]

I’m gonna give away $5,000 to 3 random people who retweets this and follows me! ❤️ Quarantine is lasting way longer than expected and I wanna keep helping out. Love you guys ⭐️

[Jeffree Star @JeffreeStar]

I’m going to give away $30,000 to 1 random person who retweets this tweet AND follows Twitter Philanthropist @Pulte and Me!! (If you don’t follow us, we can’t DM you the money) Will show proof! Much love

[Jen Jacobson @Jennxjennx]

I truly don’t understand how I landed man that always puts me first, picked up his life to move closer to me, makes dinner and breakfast in bed, watches the bachelor with me and puts up me ha, Sorry just had a brag for a moment cause he’s truly amazing and I’m one lucky girl☺️

[Jen Jacobson @Jennxjennx]

Raise your hand if you watch ink master religously but don’t have a single tattoo on your body 🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️

[Jen Jacobson @Jennxjennx]

PSA: don’t put you’re phone in you’re back pocket and then sit down because 911 will accidentally be called and you’re dad will get a message about it and your family will end up calling the State Police because you’re not answering your phone that’s in your back pocket

[Jen Jacobson @Jennxjennx]

It’s actually really entertaining to watch drunk people at bars, now I understand why the old creepers do it

[ab @notblueperson]

me seeing that Four Loko now has hard seltzer with FOURTEEN PERCENT alcohol

[Jen Jacobson @Jennxjennx]

And I left door open hoping it would leave and wouldn’t you know it, 5 minutes later it flew out and sprinted inside. Thanks for coming to my ted talk

[Jen Jacobson @Jennxjennx]

Can someone please come remove this bat from my house. I’m having trouble leaving my room due to a sense of fear. Thanks in advance

[Jen Jacobson @Jennxjennx]

Update: Somehow the bat got into my room or may have been in there the whole time camping out, so I ran outside

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Technically, alcohol is a solution

[Midwest vs. The Rest @midwestern_ope]

Every Midwesterner asking for help politely

[Jen Jacobson @Jennxjennx]

Low self esteem is like driving through life with your hand brake on

[Robyn Thicke 🍑 @queenrobynv]

I’m this old.

[Chicago Cubs @Cubs]

These seats could be yours for an upcoming #Cubs game! RT for a chance to win. https://t.co/TD3mocwSvJ

[Chicago Cubs @Cubs]

The #Cubs have won eight straight series for the first time since 2008!

#EverybodyIn

[Chicago Cubs @Cubs]

[W]alk-off week at Wrigley Field!

#EverybodyIn