goddamn, conversion therapy did a number on me. iβm 30 years old and still internalizing what was taught to me. oof. iβm aware iβm my own worst enemy at this point, but iβm getting better. awareness is the first step or something
i think this is why i isolate myself so easily; i've always been alone. i don't mean anyone any harm, but i've essentially ghosted everyone... entirely out of shame. i have a deep-seated feeling that i'm a terrible person who's going to hell & doesn't deserve connection w/ anyone
sorry to my friends and family. i haven't responded to your messages because i broke after i was raped and now i'm scared of everyone and everything and want to die