Jeremiah Beshears

I perform serious, deep, emotional public lectures. Sometimes people laugh at me.

[Rob Mac @RMcElhenney]

I’ve been going to see Jimmy Buffett for over 30 years. RIP to a man who brought the world so much joy

[Jeremiah Beshears @JeremiahBee]

Novelty songs aside, Jimmy Buffett was an incredibly underrated songwriter.

He will be missed by me and a lot of men in their 60s who mow their lawn shirtless.

[Jeremiah Beshears @JeremiahBee]

@MarshaBlackburn Maybe she thinks “seized” is the past tense of “see”.

She can’t believe they just seized all that fentanyl coming across the border and doesed nothing about it.

[Jeremiah Beshears @JeremiahBee]

@Travon “Hey, people. Ixnay on the acismray” is a hell of a strategy. Their PR fixer is thinking outside the box.

[Jeremiah Beshears @JeremiahBee]

@Spenny Ceremony is in LA. Surely Tony Clifton can make the quick trip from Vegas to accept on Andy’s behalf.

[Jeremiah Beshears @JeremiahBee]

@Spenny It’s about fucking time.

[Jeremiah Beshears @JeremiahBee]

Petition to change Hercules’ name to “She/Hercules” just to piss off Kevin Sorbo.

[Jeremiah Beshears @JeremiahBee]

I already did it just for fun. The work’s done, Hollywood. Call me.

[Right Wing Watch @RightWingWatch]

Alex Jones says that everyone who is offered a television show or a record deal is first required to "reject Jesus Christ and pledge yourself to Lucifer."

[Jeremiah Beshears @JeremiahBee]

@RobbieFulks Congrats. We live a long, long time to feel worsening in our bodies and play outlaw country cruises.

[Historic Vids @historyinmemes]

1958 NFL championship halftime show

[Kyle Brandt @KyleBrandt]

Many of you will not understand this.

But some will. And I love you.

[Jeremiah Beshears @JeremiahBee]

@pleasantonpd People in the comments are gonna milk these cow puns for all their worth.

[Jeremiah Beshears @JeremiahBee]

In retrospect, I am so glad Tom Brady returned for another year.

[Brent Terhune in Ashville Nov 14 @BrentTerhune]

Anti-vaxxer: Heard she got the jab

[RUTH BUZZI @Ruth_A_Buzzi]

My son became addicted to brake fluid but he can stop any time.

[Jeremiah Beshears @JeremiahBee]

@moseskuminga @Better707 @Mr_White18 @RealSkipBayless The difference between 4 and 5 is negligible late.

Not in the third quarter when the score is liable to change. Dallas scored again and that missed point forced them to try for 2 again to get it back and now they’re down by 13 instead of 11, which is not negligible.

[Jeremiah Beshears @JeremiahBee]

@BAHunter71 Man, it took going on a cruise to realize that?

Took me like 2 open mics.

[Jeremiah Beshears @JeremiahBee]

Jesus: “Don’t fucking bring me into this…”

[Russell Wilson @DangeRussWilson]

New Day! Jesus YOU still get ALL the Glory! In the good and the bad. I Praise YOU!

[Michael McKean @MJMcKean]

About fucking time.

[Danhausen @DanhausenAD]

Hello @TheRock it is Danhausen (also a very famous and powerful celebrity)