Ed Jericho

Chelsea Fan.

[Sir KELVIN🎩 @Kevoh_254]

We lost the plot when driving schools introduced automatic cars. That's where half-baked drivers stem from.

[Mhlonishwa @Tayo_555]

Can’t believe I am at that stage of giving women money 😭

Never thought it could be me

[TurboDiesel @alexmwanzo]

If looking for a car like mine my pal is selling his
At just 620k this has the BLG with a 6 speed . Ii SASA ni utamu tupu and being a wagon .
Anyways
If you end up buying it unipee za kabej
[phone]

[Cerebral Assassin @xysist]

The main challenge in life is women want their responsibilities treated as sacrifices but want men’s sacrifices to be treated as responsibilities.

[$ha💱𝒢uid£🇵🇹 @Nobleboyy7]

Leicester also won it you’re not special😭😂

[Eng.Kogi🔨 @John63681549]

Mother comes to rescue her arsenal fan husband from her irritating sons😆😆.

[Dubois @TheToucheLineX]

🚨BREAKING: The Arsenal title parade is delayed by 2 hours. The bus had ‘Champions of Europe’ painted on it and is now being removed.

— @nicoshira

[Harmo @harmkimkim]

Walitaka kubeba Champions League na possession ya 24.7%

[Cerebral Assassin @xysist]

Always thought my Sony WH 1000 XM5 had the best noise cancellation- until PSG changed my mind.

[Cerebral Assassin @xysist]

Talk that talk.

Most middle class people live hand to mouth. If you look at what the loans are doing it’s basic stuff like a home or a car and the loan goes on and on for 5 years.

When the kids come in it gets worse they can barely do nothing since fees and other expenses are sifia pain.

[Edwin Sifuna @edwinsifuna]

Kuna njia ingine mtu anaeza onyesha maturity na sportsmanship bila ku congratulate Arsenal?

[Morara Kebaso @MoraraKebaso]

Let me give you some advice. If you are building anything that will cost you more than 1 million Kenya shillings, please hire professionals. Please please am begging you. Hold your ear like this.👂Stop being the architect and structural engineer of your own building. There is more mathematics that goes into what you see than you think. Now some of you have beautiful houses with paint that is peeling. Some of you have bathrooms where water does not drain into the hole#. Some of you have business buildings where the support beam is right in the middle blocking the doorway. Some of you have rental apartments where I cannot pack a car even with magic. Some of you have staircases that are designed like a death trap. Some of you have toilets that bring all the dirt and smell back into the room. Please hire professionals. An architect, a structural engineer, a quantity surveyor, a professional plumber not an apprentice, a professional electrician not kawaya. Stop spending too much money building rubbish. In any case most of you end up spending more than those who hire professionals. You go to Karen you find very poorly constructed houses you wonder surely, land costs 80 million here, are you completely unable to hire a professional or you just think its a waste of money?
I am a lawyer. But there is no day I will ever represent myself in court or in drafting a contract. I hire a third eye. The individual must not be a relative or a friend doing me a favour. He or she must do a cutthroat straight perfect job and get paid reasonably for it.

[Ed Jericho @JerichoEd]

@Ian_San254 But

[CPA Wachira Joseph @WashiraX]

Court has warned KRA to go for real thieves, not NIL filers.

There is a company called Kapwell Enterprises Limited.

Their business is not complicated. They sell cargo clearing and forwarding services.

When they started, they had no one to show them mashimo. They only had hope and determination.

They hit the road.

2013, no deal.
2014, zero deal.
2015, no nothing.

Kazi ni kufile tu NIL returns.

As the director was busy tarmacking and accumulating tiny stones under his shoe heels,

Some crooks had stolen & were busy importing goods using Kapwell’s KRA PIN.

In 2018, Kapwell has known mashimo. They are minting real money. KRA notices.

They decided to audit.

Checking their internal customs system, they discovered that Kapwell’s PIN had imported goods worth 25M in 2013 and 2014. Yet they had filed NIL returns faithfully.

KRA went mad.

They took the 25M, added a fictitious 20% profit margin, computed income tax, VAT, penalties and interest, and slapped Kapwell with a tax bill of 11M.

Next morning at 3am, the director akagurumuka. He reached for his phone to check time. Saw an email notification. Hoping it was a client, he opened it.

Bahati mbaya, it was KRA. Delivering the bill.

Sleep ended instant.

• Lesson 1: usiku wacha simu sitting room.

At dawn, without even taking tea, he rushed to KRA to report a system error. Akaambiwa ndugu keti. He was shown mad numbers on the screen.

He swore he had never imported such goods.
KRA wakamwabia hii utalipa.

He ran to the police and reported a case of identity theft. Got an OB number. Took it back to KRA and asked them to investigate who had used his company PIN. He even gave them a list of competitors he suspected.

He then served KRA all of his bank statements. They were all zeros for those years.

But KRA could not hear any of it.

As KRA is doing all this, it is unaware of one dangerous sentence chilling quietly in Kenyan tax law.

It reads:
• KRA SHALL make inquiries into all tax issues raised by a taxpayer.

Make sure to underline the word SHALL. MANDATORY.

KRA did not investigate. Their position was:

• PIN ni yako. 11M ni yako. Lipa.

Frustrated, he ran to court.

The Tribunal asked KRA: Where is your investigation report?

- KRA said hakuna.

Tribunal invoked the one dangerous sentence. You still remember it?

• KRA SHALL make inquiries.

Tribunal ruled that the word SHALL is MANDATORY.

Tribunal concluded Kapwell was a victim of identity theft.
11M tax was set aside.

You would think that is the end. Noo.

KRA retreated to Times Tower swearing: 11M haiwezi enda hivo. Aje?

They appealed to the High Court.

In court, Kapwell was asked:
Why don’t you want to pay tax under your PIN ndugu?

He responded: My lord, I have no problem paying taxes. But not for goods I never bought, never touched, and never sold.

The good judge asked him: What do you mean?

He responded: My Lord, if you owe your landlord 100K. You take the 100k bundle to his office and hand it to him. As he starts counting, a thief storms in, orders everyone down, and in the confusion the landlord throws the money back at you. The thief grabs it and disappears. Have you paid rent or not?

The court went silent.

The judge asked him: Kapwell what are you saying?

He replied: My Lord, who should the landlord pursue for the money? You the tenant or the thief?

Judge removed his spectacles.

Paused.

Then sided with Kapwell.

The 11M tax was set aside.

KRA wakaambiwa waende watafute wezi wawalipe.

Case closed.

Lesson 2.

• KRA cannot tax a victim of identity theft.

• KRA must go for the real beneficiary thief.

[Ed Jericho @JerichoEd]

@GeneralWaitish @mtupombe24390 Mzee niko kapcherop,tupatane lini.

[Ed Jericho @JerichoEd]

Am no apologist but Marakwet iko na corner wazimu and also very sloppy.
This is not AI .
This is a KeRRA road Kipkundul-Kapyego-Kamelei.
It cuts across steep sections and an altitude of upto 3200m. Freakishly cold.
Embobut forest is neighbours that project

[Muzami @noah_muhindi]

"I'm an occasional drinker, but if I find a serious man, I'll stop drinking."

[Cerebral Assassin @xysist]

Shortlist everywhere 💀

[Big Daddy L💿 @Colonel_edu]

Kameanza masimu

[Ed Jericho @JerichoEd]

@RoadsHub Will be waiting