Dan Farley

Irish-Catholic Gentleman, Overall Fried Chicken Lover and Stand Up Comic, blah blah blah. Sold 2 Chains His Second Chain

[Dan Farley @JerseyDan18]

@AJK_AJK sick in the dick

[Zach Silver @zachsilver]

The Orioles have a new introduction for their closer, Félix Bautista, complete with Omar's whistle and flashing flood lights:

[Dan Farley @JerseyDan18]

@NameOfMy1stBand @RPcomedy Lookin like a couple sober judges

[Dan Farley @JerseyDan18]

@BakerBone Cuz they are

[Dan Farley @JerseyDan18]

Wait, he can’t? I got to break some news to a certain kindergarten class

[UberFacts @UberFacts]

North Korean citizens are told that Kim Jong-un can speak to dolphins and control "the nature"

[Dan Farley @JerseyDan18]

@HendricksJc

[Dan Farley @JerseyDan18]

@irie_tiz Son of a bitch… they did it

[Dan Farley @JerseyDan18]

The movie The Bodyguard fuckin stinks

[Dan Farley @JerseyDan18]

Your move, vegans

[Dan Farley @JerseyDan18]

@arielleaty

[Dan Farley @JerseyDan18]

@_ImHeather_ Some might call it “The First Name”

[Dan Farley @JerseyDan18]

@Wall_Dough @irie_tiz Fuck a meal. Get em to turn the arches upside down so we all see a golden “W”

[Dan Farley @JerseyDan18]

@BakerBone Dawn of the Deadbeats

[Dan Farley @JerseyDan18]

@luvzdietcoke Not remotely. Did you know she’s an actual physicist? Cuz she never brings it up

[Dan Farley @JerseyDan18]

@BakerBone Destiny’s abortion

[Kurt Vonnegut @Kurt_Vonnegut]

Plato says that the unexamined life is not worth living. But what if the examined life turns out to be a clunker as well?

[Francis @Frrancis]

Went to two stores and they didn't have Rosemary powder🤷‍♂️

[Dan Farley @JerseyDan18]

@_ImHeather_ I’m kidding. That’s great

[Dan Farley @JerseyDan18]

@_ImHeather_

[Dan Farley @JerseyDan18]

We can’t get kids to wear masks in school, but my school administrators had an SS like halt on Slap Bracelets and Pogs with zero pushback