I’m FOREVERRRRRRRR praying that I get my fairytale ending.. the dream career. the financial freedom. the friends. the family. the peace. the love... just everything that I truly & genuinely deserve
Please date sweet men. Please date men who respect you in anger. Please date men who are soft spoken. Please date men who are patient with you. Please date men who respect their own bodies. Please date men that are kind to your soul. Please date men who have self-control
Modern women obsession with "soft life" and "princess treatment" has made a whole generation of women completely blind to the brutal reality of what it actually takes for a man to provide that.
You are demanding a man be endlessly romantic, available 24/7, and constantly planning aesthetic dates, while he is literally in the trenches fighting a ruthless economy to build the very empire you want to rest in.
You cannot demand the spoils of war and then complain that the soldier is too tired to entertain you when he finally gets home. We want the absolute financial security of a conqueror, but we expect him to have the carefree personality and infinite free time of a golden retriever. A man cannot simultaneously be at peace and at war. If he is building your fortress, you have to give him the grace to be exhausted
My man told me something the other day that lowkey rearranged my brain a little.
He said, “I’m not here to control you. I’m not your father, I’m your partner. You’re grown, you can make whatever choices you want. Just know every choice comes with consequences. If you pick something that hurts what we built, that decision belongs to you.”
Then he goes, “I’m always gonna tell you when something hurts me or crosses a boundary, because that’s how real communication works. But if I show you where the line is and you keep stepping over it, then you’re not protecting us… you’re just choosing yourself.”
And yeah… that’s when it clicked for me. Accountability in a relationship isn’t yelling, rules, or control. It’s someone giving you freedom and trusting you to care enough not to misuse it.
My girl best friend told her boyfriend something that lowkey changed how I see relationships.
She said, “I don’t want obedience. I want consideration. I shouldn’t have to beg you to think about how your actions affect me.”
She told him, “You’re allowed to have friends. You’re allowed to go out. You’re allowed to live your life. But if you constantly put yourself in situations that you know would hurt me, that’s not freedom. That’s you choosing yourself over us.”
Then she said something that hit:
“If I have to keep explaining why something disrespects me, it’s not confusion. It’s comfort. You’re comfortable knowing I’ll stay.”
And whew.
She wasn’t yelling. She wasn’t threatening to leave. She was calm. Grounded. Clear.
She told him, “I won’t control you. But I will control what I tolerate. And if I start feeling small in a relationship that’s supposed to feel safe, I’ll remove myself. Not to punish you. To protect me.”
That’s what emotional maturity sounds like.
Not “do what I say.”
But “I see the red flag. I told you it’s red. If you keep walking past it, I’m not dragging you back.”
Someone dies… and their shares “disappear”? No. They’re just unclaimed.
This happens a LOT in Nigeria.
Family panics. Mum can’t remember anything. Everyone assumes the money is gone.
It’s not.
Here’s the cleanest route forward 👇🏽
First truth:
Shares don’t vanish because someone died.
On the NGX, they sit quietly waiting for a legal owner to claim them.
The market doesn’t chase families. Families must chase the market.
Step one: Confirm the shares exist
Even if nobody remembers where or how they were bought.
Do TWO things:
• Search the SEC e-Dividend / unclaimed dividends portal
• Run a CSCS Global Search (via a licensed stockbroker)
This alone can reveal every stock the person owned.
No certificates? No problem.
Many Nigerian investors dematerialised years ago.
CSCS records are stronger than dusty paper certificates.
Memory fails. Databases don’t.
Next hard truth:
Nobody can touch those shares without legal authority.
Not the mum.
Not the eldest child.
Not “family meeting”.
You need:
• Letter of Administration (no will) OR
• Probate (if there’s a will)
Where does this happen?
Probate Registry of the State High Court where he lived.
Yes, it takes time.
Yes, it’s stressful.
But without it? The shares are frozen forever.
Once probate is ready…
You go to the company registrars (First Registrars, Greenwich, CardinalStone, etc).
You submit:
• Probate / Letter of Admin
• Death certificate
• IDs
• Proof of shares (from CSCS search)
This process is called TRANSMISSION.
What transmission does:
It legally moves the shares
➡️ from the deceased
➡️ to the estate or named beneficiaries.
Under SEC rules, registrars don’t argue once documents are complete.
Final step:
Open CSCS accounts for beneficiaries.
Transfer shares in.
Now they can:
• Hold
• Collect dividends
• Or sell on the NGX
Money unlocked.
Best route forward for the family:
✔ Start with CSCS global search
✔ Begin probate immediately
✔ Use a licensed stockbroker (not “my friend that trades”)
✔ Be patient, but structured
Confusion is expensive. Process saves money.
Final warning:
Unclaimed shares in Nigeria run into hundreds of billions.
Don’t let grief + ignorance turn real wealth into permanent loss.
If this helped, RT it.
Someone’s family needs this info more than they know.