Jessica Roth

Improv enthusiast, actress, comedian. Lover of loose titles.

[Jessica Roth @JessRoth]

@TheDude9737 Still pondering how they urinate on their own head

[JD Harmeyer @jdharm]

Tweeting this out for a friend of mine, help if you can https://t.co/4C1gx6iF36

[Jessica Roth @JessRoth]

@TheDude9737 Welcome. We've been waiting for you.

[Jessica Roth @JessRoth]

@Vinman408 It's the Botox my friend. Hope you are well.

[Jessica Roth @JessRoth]

The hardest part of my days is entering the bottle of wine I drank on "My FitnessPal"

[Jessica Roth @JessRoth]

Tinder already changed my age to 39 and there is still 6 minutes until my birthday. This is bullshit.

[Jessica Roth @JessRoth]

My friend just referenced his sexual encounter as "she was a hoot in the sack". Wish my grandfather was here to translate.

[Jessica Roth @JessRoth]

Today's National boyfriend's day! I'm going to celebrate by lighting candles and masturbating furiously after I watch Homeland on Netflix.

[Jessica Roth @JessRoth]

Most accurate meme of why I am single

[Jessica Roth @JessRoth]

I can't guarantee much in life. But I can guarantee at some point during the day I will be holding a bag filled with dog shit willingly

[Jessica Roth @JessRoth]

Pretty happy with my everyday routine. Wake up, hate myself, feed my dogs. Go to work, hate myself, come home and take a vitamin

[Jessica Roth @JessRoth]

Just got a deep tissue massage and I'll be honest, I wouldn't mind if my masseuse spooned me afterwards #deeptissue

[Jessica Roth @JessRoth]

Shout out to late night Pittsburg accoustic artists for bringing 90's abortion songs back into to my life #shesabrick #freshman

[Armed Yandere 🔪 @JawanzaCW]

Everybody running from Insta to Twitter after Rob Kardashian page got shut down

[Jessica Roth @JessRoth]

theonion's photo https://t.co/jYBHuWovTV

[Jessica Roth @JessRoth]

@hunterharris44 where the fuck have you been?

[Jessica Roth @JessRoth]

@MirandaChop me too. Been missing you on FB so had to stalk all social media avenues to find ya. Drinks soon!

[Jessica Roth @JessRoth]

@MirandaChop Happy Birthday my friend. I came on Twitter just to tell you : )

[Jessica Roth @JessRoth]

@HannahRothers yay!

[Jessica Roth @JessRoth]

@NetflixMark yea what's good?