Jessica Sattler

Sometimes funny | RTs ≠ endorsement (or do they?)

[Jessica Sattler @JessSattler]

This gained more traction than anticipated on IG so I figured I’d share to soccer twitter as well. See the 4th pic for the deets on these pics. 😎⚽️

👉😶👈

[Jessica Sattler @JessSattler]

@perfectionline walked past a tv in a hotel lobby this weekend with big city green on and said to my friend group “hey remember when Brad Marchand was on there” … it might be the only thing I know about that show

[connor @ConnorEatsPants]

birthdays just don’t feel the same without the free flow of maritime trade through the Strait of Hormuz

[Madeline Summerville @MaddiesHotTake]

Hi, I’m Madeline -

I’m a Jew.

I was literally in the studio with @hasanthehun the same day he made the comments everyone is upset about.

Let me be very clear: Hasan got clipped out of context.

These people are full of sh*t.

Hasan was literally advocating for the OPPOSITE of violence against us, as he always has.

He said the exact same thing about how the conflation of anti-Zionism with anti-semitism causes Jewish people - like myself - to become targets. Ezra Klein said the exact same thing previously, and nobody batted an eye.

I spent a full hour with him that same day. Anybody wanna check how his behavior was with me? A whole Jewish lady? I’m sitting right there next to him. Care to see what we talked about and how we talked about it?

I’ll give you a hint: non-violence, deradicalizing people, advocating for the humanity in every single person - Jewish and Palestinian alike.

Please, my Jewish brothers and sisters - moms and dads and bubbies and zaydes - please hear me:

They’re trying to trick us. They’re playing with our emotions and steering us away from the truth so we will abandon our principles and join the other side.

I’m begging you - don’t let them make you abandon what you believe in.

And don’t take my word for it — Please — look for yourself to see who is actually on our side and wants to protect us. Look and you’ll see who is actually speaking the truth.

Chesed v emet - kindness and truth. Please don’t abandon the values our people have carried because you’ve been convinced of something that isn’t even true.

Please.

[hasanabi @hasanthehun]

i am a very accessible media figure. it is strange that i am blacklisted from most of these news outlets who will talk about me endlessly. it’s perhaps easier to present a negative frame rather than address me directly and have your audience recognize that i’m fairly agreeable

[Jessica Sattler @JessSattler]

@KahanArchive does he know about cups

[Cole Leiter @coleleiter]

POV, you are a driver with Maryland plates inside the District of Columbia

[jordan @JordanUhl]

Trump ultimately did accomplish his promise of lower grocery bills, in that you can’t buy half the shit in the store because it’ll either give you diarrhea or there’s a salmonella outbreak or it’ll just kill you.

[sydney 🏳️‍⚧️ @interkosmos_dog]

what were they even fighting for if the sbarro fell…

[Jessica Sattler @JessSattler]

@EmmaVigeland clocked it

[Jessica Sattler @JessSattler]

@DCHomos @hasanthehun now I’m gaslighting myself cus maybe it’s his normal size and I’m just going insane, tiny head piker strikes again

[Jessica Sattler @JessSattler]

@DCHomos @hasanthehun someone also definitely edited that gif cus his head looks small as hell and his face looks slightly yassified lolol

[Jessica Sattler @JessSattler]

@GianmarcoSoresi I love kenny omega-posting

[Jessica Sattler @JessSattler]

actually nyc set up a gofundme while he was in his coma

[Jessica Sattler @JessSattler]

they did it for free, hope that helps

[Lorxel ×͜× @lorxell]

Can someone explain this to me how Peter Parker was able to afford the hospital bill from Frank’s gun shot despite living in the ruins of New York in spiderman brand new day?

[Jessica Sattler @JessSattler]

like no one knows who Peter Parker is, he’s just a Guy. he’s not carrying his wallet on him in the suit. they treated someone who was dying, and someone who’s been saving the city every day for years.

[Jessica Sattler @JessSattler]

for $80k Thierry better be there too

[♡ @vflwilliamson]

Wdym you can get married at the Emirates? hello??? ME AND WHO

[Isaiah @isaiahsofyne]

me explaining that if you get AMC A-list you get to see 4 movies a week for $25 so even if you see just two movies a month it pays for itself

[Jessica Sattler @JessSattler]

@computer_atulya the fact that this is even an article lmao

[Jessica Sattler @JessSattler]

@Hec18 not an outlet store but a few years back I was celebrating a friend’s birthday at fogo de chão in dc and the entire querétaro team came in