Jess 🌿⛰️

23|she/her|♉︎|

[Mark ⛵️ @Marinerselectra]

Your state is shaped like a vape idgaf

[Finch @blckbrdquitter]

starting to really dislike this guy for the sole reason I dont live in new york

[Seán na Gealaí 🎃 @LeglessScut]

Me and the girl I met on https://t.co/TJksfft92y

[Fiona Small @FionaSmall]

Irish people:

[grovy @grovymango]

fuck a running club. i'm gonna start a walking club. bring your walking shoes and your grandma with her walker . we're gonna be gentle with the ankles

[habitual line-stepper @alaskastardust]

"Christ on a bike" is my favorite expression of shock, because yes I would indeed be shocked if ol’ buddy blew past me on a Schwinn

[Berry ⏾ @auraonx]

Idk why doctors only give stickers to kids? like hello I was also brave today

[inqilāb @tastefullysaucy]

“will not applaud those who set the world on fire just because they turn up with a bucket.”

[monica @waystarroyhoe]

“why are we gendering the moon?” i mean why would the moon be a man lmao

[amanda moore 🐢 @noturtlesoup17]

I would shoot my dishwasher with a gun if it tried to connect to the internet.

[Chomper (and more) @Plantboi2009]

My body is a machine that turns free into 0 hours played.

[em @shinywiglett]

employee of the month

[S @cherryfiilms]

Acting like nothing happened… they probably strapped him down, wiped his memory and reprogrammed him like the Winter Soldier

[Georgia Coley @artwithinpod]

there is literally no funnier way i could've imagined this. like that's it. that's the funniest possible version of how the olaf animatronic would power off

[Pinglyadya @pinglyadya]

I'm the Big Boss of the underground transgender mafia. Tonight, we feast on KitKats. Tomorrow, da world.