Jessica Zurica

always late. probably sleepy. dog mom. ✌️💙

[Jessica Zurica @JessZurica]

For everyone who thought 2020 was your year...IT AINT SIS. 2020 just ain’t it.

[Jessica Zurica @JessZurica]

Yo @GEICO. You think you could light a fire under somebody’s ass to get me some help with my auto collision claim that was filed 31 DAYS AGO? Instead of giving me the run around and blaming someone else. Filed 1 claim in my 10 years of being a customer and it’s a shit show.

[Jessica Zurica @JessZurica]

So I crack open my watermelon chunks from @Target just now and I swear IF THEY ARE NOT BASICALLY WHITE. I AM BASICALLY EATING WATERMELON SKIN. I ain’t happy 🍉

[Jessica Zurica @JessZurica]

I wanted some watermelon…yah know cause I’m dieting. @Target had some…at $5 a container but nonetheless, they had some.

[Jessica Zurica @JessZurica]

@Target is my happy place. It can turn any bad day into a good one. BUT TODAY….I have been let down.

[Jessica Zurica @JessZurica]

The size of my child’s snot rockets make me question how she’s been able to breathe the last week.

[Jessica Zurica @JessZurica]

@cockrellryan87 Call them for me

[Jessica Zurica @JessZurica]

Who I gotta call to make sure it doesn’t get hot again tomorrow so my allergies don’t lose their shit and everyone thInks I have corona...again. Anyone got a number?

[Jessica Zurica @JessZurica]

I know I’m just an esthetician but I can count. Call me Michigan. Or Pennsylvania. Or Nevada.

[Jessica Zurica @JessZurica]

I was not this anxious during child birth

[Jessica Zurica @JessZurica]

@tiffanymgates_ Fn same

[Jessica Zurica @JessZurica]

@cockrellryan87 I ain’t scared 😂 I said it to him also

[Jessica Zurica @JessZurica]

Joey just said “all I do is piss you off sometimes.” And he’s wrong. He pisses me off all of the time. ❤️

[Jessica Zurica @JessZurica]

My child very sneakily handed me a fake banana and took my phone. I can tell now she’s gonna be a tough negotiator one day. #momlife #futurelawyer

[Jessica Zurica @JessZurica]

@tiffanymgates_ 😂😂

[Jessica Zurica @JessZurica]

If y’all don’t get your shit together before October and I have to cancel my wedding cause y’all stopped washing your hands and don’t cover your mouth when you cough...I’m cussing y’all all out. And all y’all mommas out too

[Jessica Zurica @JessZurica]

@tiffanymgates_ SAME 😂😂😂

[Jessica Zurica @JessZurica]

My kid slept in her own room in her crib for 3 nights in a row. I don’t mean to toot my own horn but BEEP BEEP TOOT TOOT HONK HONK

[Jessica Zurica @JessZurica]

Do the phantom cries ever stop? I swear I’ll be at work and Lucy is at her babysitter and I’ll hear her crying in the next room 🤦🏻‍♀️

[Jessica Zurica @JessZurica]

@Verizon also how does one get a restocking job because $75 to restock A WATCH sounds a little steep. I’m already paying $530 w/tax, and $10 a month for service! I shouldn’t have to give you any more money. Also les not forget HURRICANE MICHAEL

[Jessica Zurica @JessZurica]

Shout out to @Verizon for still be grade A 100% jerks! Went to exchange a BRAND NEW Apple Watch because I didn’t like the color and they said it would be a $75 RESTOCKING FEE because they had to “Special Order”it for me. Didn’t know it was my problem you don’t have them in stock.