One of Many Jessicas

Increasingly irrelevant

[Mara Wilson @MaraWilson]

Titles I‘d fully believe were British TV shows:

Beamish and Quigley

The Quite Corking Quiz Show

Shan’t We Tell the Vicar?

A Bee’s As Good As A Bonnet

Up Your Arse, Alistair!

That Isn’t How We Do It in Lincolnshire, That Isn’t How We Do It At All

Just Joanna Lumley

[One of Many Jessicas @JessicaSatkoski]

@AaronBlake Alabama: The state where life begins at conception, and apparently so does consent

[One of Many Jessicas @JessicaSatkoski]

I’m not sure if this is irony or just an extreme case of getting what you pay for.

[victoria @theblowout]

trump promising $5 million for president obama's birth certificate but only $1 million to hurricane victims is as on-brand as you can get

[Mark Hamill @MarkHamill]

#ForceFriday is a good day to think about buying one less toy & sending that $ to those facing unimaginable loss in Texas. #ForceYourself

[One of Many Jessicas @JessicaSatkoski]

Apparently my phone will auto-capitalize "raisin bran". Thanks, but it was store-brand cereal. My last name isn't Rockefeller.

[One of Many Jessicas @JessicaSatkoski]

I had a bowl of Raisin Bran for a snack last night and then I was like, fuck, humanity is doomed anyway, so I had another one.

[One of Many Jessicas @JessicaSatkoski]

For the first and last time ever, Mike Pence and I share a thought. https://t.co/UIBQNdVm3s

[The Hill @thehill]

Scaramucci: Pence "can’t believe what the f-ck is going on" https://t.co/wpV1WCHgT9

[Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome]

North Korea officially has a warhead small enough to fit on a missile. Huh. Being "tired of winning" sure feels a lot like "a stress ulcer."

[One of Many Jessicas @JessicaSatkoski]

I've been bad at my job before, but at least I've never been fired after 10 days for saying that a coworker sucks his own cock bad. https://t.co/eD9lPP6d1Q

[The Hill @thehill]

JUST IN: Scaramucci out as White House communications director just 10 days after taking job https://t.co/ww1t4UtfXm

[One of Many Jessicas @JessicaSatkoski]

I like to think that he got that way from the all the financial tips that he picked up by listening in on our Amazon Echo. https://t.co/VZqenyGqBd

[The Hill @thehill]

Jeff Bezos is now the world's richest man: https://t.co/9Isl0ygjT2

[One of Many Jessicas @JessicaSatkoski]

And now Coke Zero is going away. What did I ever do to *you*, Shadowy Cabal That Secretly Controls Everything? https://t.co/mbocyxOOFU

[Business Insider @BusinessInsider]

Coca-Cola is replacing Coke Zero with a drink with a new recipe and name https://t.co/R07Zczc9Du

[One of Many Jessicas @JessicaSatkoski]

America would probably better off is we just made Perry the traffic guy on Vladivostok's Morning Zoo. https://t.co/vxBqNQIraN

[The Hill @thehill]

LISTEN: Rick Perry falls for prank phone call with Russian comedians https://t.co/3dbJEF874K

[drewtoothpaste.bsky.social @drewtoothpaste]

/!\ REMINDER /!\ Even if Senators vote to kill your entire family you MUST respect them by not saying anything rude.

[Natalia "Vaccinate Your Kids" Reagan 🐒🏳️‍🌈 @natalia13reagan]

Brave, brilliant, & compassionate- that's @ShmevaG! Thank you for this ❤ https://t.co/xjDmYodqWn

[One of Many Jessicas @JessicaSatkoski]

The good news is that your ramen noodles will cook in the same amount of time it takes you to walk back to your desk, you soulless drone.

[Brian Stelter @brianstelter]

Chyron of the day?

[One of Many Jessicas @JessicaSatkoski]

In these troubled times, we can all agree that The Love Boat was the worst, right?

[Matt Pearce 🦅🇺🇸 @mattdpearce]

Hobby Lobby's robby hobby: Hammurabi