Jesse Hoover (F3 Squeakers)

So...uh...yeah. I'm here.

[Jesse Hoover (F3 Squeakers) @JesterCobblepot]

Tomorrow (actually today) is gonna hurt. WHY CAN'T I SLEEP I HAVE BEEN TRYING FOR HOURS

[Jesse Hoover (F3 Squeakers) @JesterCobblepot]

Most aesthetic thing: flipping through Tinder while listening to My Type by Saint Motel.

[Jesse Hoover (F3 Squeakers) @JesterCobblepot]

If you want one person to talk to you at a party, they probably won't lol

[Jesse Hoover (F3 Squeakers) @JesterCobblepot]

Double tough when you wake up from a dream state of life and realize there are consequences to your actions and that was in fact real life. Isn't messed up how dream state you doesn't have to deal with ANY of the fallout? Just gets to cause trouble.

[Jesse Hoover (F3 Squeakers) @JesterCobblepot]

It's real tough when your feeling very Greensleeves Sibella El Tango De Roxanne.

[Jesse Hoover (F3 Squeakers) @JesterCobblepot]

@eshankay No

[Jesse Hoover (F3 Squeakers) @JesterCobblepot]

If you haven't shared socks with your homie, you aren't homies

[Jesse Hoover (F3 Squeakers) @JesterCobblepot]

@eshankay You were the type of kid to convince mfs that Camp Half-blood was real AND Pokemon came from there because how else would they get their powers

[Jesse Hoover (F3 Squeakers) @JesterCobblepot]

@noah_biswell #puteshankbehindbars

[Jesse Hoover (F3 Squeakers) @JesterCobblepot]

@noah_biswell Not that I don't respect your profession, but I believe you misspelled jiggalow. You don't have to be ashamed!

[Jesse Hoover (F3 Squeakers) @JesterCobblepot]

You ever get followed by random Mormon missionaries on Facebook? Like how many time can I decline my invitation to join the army of the church of Jesus Christ of latter-day saints before Mormon God tell his minions to fuck off.

[Jesse Hoover (F3 Squeakers) @JesterCobblepot]

You ever just wanna play the 1.19 Update Minecraft?

[Jesse Hoover (F3 Squeakers) @JesterCobblepot]

That awkward moment when you fall asleep and then you wake up smh

[Jesse Hoover (F3 Squeakers) @JesterCobblepot]

I have one shoe on, because I put it on while I was sitting on the floor, decided to move to a chair, got an Instagram notification, opened it and got sucked into a group chat I am inactive in, then saw a @clairerosinkraz post and remembered I have to listen to her new song.

[Jesse Hoover (F3 Squeakers) @JesterCobblepot]

Why is every 1920s reporter or PI/detective dressed the exact same?

[Jesse Hoover (F3 Squeakers) @JesterCobblepot]

Why do boomers think changing the password to something different on every individual account is gonna do anything but make them have to hit the "forgot password" button? Like you thought Hulu was a video game and NOW you're concerned about hackers

[Jesse Hoover (F3 Squeakers) @JesterCobblepot]

Remember when the only time you heard the word "toxic" was in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

[Jesse Hoover (F3 Squeakers) @JesterCobblepot]

Bro, I'm not even in college yet and I'm broke. I got my acceptance letter and there went my bank account!

[Jesse Hoover (F3 Squeakers) @JesterCobblepot]

Why does sitting in the @tacobell line make me feel like I got to the end of the line to ride a rollercoaster?

[Maggie @maggiemoda]

I abhor cancel culture the same way I’m against sending people to prison for victimless crimes.

I believe in human dignity and redemption.