✡️ Jewish Boy Problems ✡️

I have brown eyes and hair. My body is uncomfortably hairy. My dream is to crack 5’8. Most things upset my stomach.

[✡️ Jewish Boy Problems ✡️ @JewBoyProblems]

IYKYK

[✡️ Jewish Boy Problems ✡️ @JewBoyProblems]

@asitzmann_ It took me aback. He said at least two meetings were held because of my clapback against their huge campaign. Never made me feel more powerful.

Very respectable man and veteran who found work in the private sector so he wasn’t willing to sell out anyone.

[✡️ Jewish Boy Problems ✡️ @JewBoyProblems]

Me, 2010: “I just got a smartphone and want to combine my love of Judaism and humor in a parody Twitter account.”

Me, 2022: “I remember when this site functioned and I didn’t get DMs from people with Nazi avatars.”

[✡️ Jewish Boy Problems ✡️ @JewBoyProblems]

@asitzmann_ A large telecom stole the idea from me and I called them out. A few years later, I ended up working with the guy who proposed the idea. Talk about awkward.

[✡️ Jewish Boy Problems ✡️ @JewBoyProblems]

This has been fun while it has lasted—it’s how I made friends when I first moved to NYC, supported Birthright, and I even dated someone who slid into my DMs.

But lately, I’m getting “last night of camp” vibes on Twitter. Time to queue up: https://t.co/ZRKSMTJCh6

[✡️ Jewish Boy Problems ✡️ @JewBoyProblems]

I’ve been out of the “influencer game” for a years because I like job benefits and have self-respect. These were my fav series:
- #TextsFromMomTuesday
- Screenshots of the Tulane Moms Facebook group (while public)
- Traveling to Hillels across the US

[StopAntisemitism @StopAntisemites]

“Fight antisemitism” t-shirts spotted front row at tonight’s @BrooklynNets game in response to Kyrie Irving’s promotion of an antisemitic book - ‘Hebrews to Negroes: Wake Up Black America’

[Douglas Emhoff Archived @SecondGent46]

The Jewish community is facing an epidemic of hate. We must all stand united and speak out against antisemitism. No person of any faith should have to fear violence because of what they believe.

[Noah Garfinkel @NoahGarfinkel]

We really need to cool it with the antisemitism or my mom is never going to stop sending me articles.

[✡️ Jewish Boy Problems ✡️ @JewBoyProblems]

Algorithms are getting too smart.

[✡️ Jewish Boy Problems ✡️ @JewBoyProblems]

@MarcWeberSports I used to have Hulu. Maybe I’ll find clips elsewhere

[✡️ Jewish Boy Problems ✡️ @JewBoyProblems]

“I took my allergy pill—I’m good.” - Alexa reppin’ our people on #LoveIsBlind3

[✡️ Jewish Boy Problems ✡️ @JewBoyProblems]

One of the most goyishe things I’ve seen.

[✡️ Jewish Boy Problems ✡️ @JewBoyProblems]

No hints needed

[Sophie Vershbow @svershbow]

The bagel had been attached to his harness. We are ready for action.

[Sam Morril @sammorril]

We were shit talking @kanyewest

[✡️ Jewish Boy Problems ✡️ @JewBoyProblems]

Bring on the renaissance of Sharon’s, Rhoda’s, Irving’s, and Morton’s.

[Bess Kalb @bessbell]

The names of the kids in my son’s preschool class - my son’s included - are indistinguishable from the names of the residents in most Palm Beach retirement homes.

[✡️ Jewish Boy Problems ✡️ @JewBoyProblems]

The customer review for this jacket took me on a journey.

[✡️ Jewish Boy Problems ✡️ @JewBoyProblems]

Just started watching a new Netflix game show and of course one of the contestants went to the same sleepaway camp as me.

[✡️ Jewish Boy Problems ✡️ @JewBoyProblems]

Being Jewish means meeting a stranger and later finding out her grandparents are longtime friends of a close friend’s grandparents…and that said friend was a camp counselor for the cousins.