Aizik Friedman

When people say I know a guy who knows a guy I'm the guy the first guy knows

[Aizik Friedman @JewishPitch]

https://t.co/gaLJ3lywXJ
More to come iyh

[Aizik Friedman @JewishPitch]

@yoniChanowitz There are 6 kids in the photo and five names listed at the top. Do I get to pick who doesn't get Matanos La'Evyonim or is it random?

[Aizik Friedman @JewishPitch]

@friedman_yitz Scholars such as yourself really do go unnoticed in our midst

[Aizik Friedman @JewishPitch]

I see someone spending far longer staring at bananas than any functioning person should

[Aizik Friedman @JewishPitch]

Which, ironically, makes him the wise son

[Aizik Friedman @JewishPitch]

I don't think I ever feel more adult than when I stick papers into my inner coat pocket

[Aizik Friedman @JewishPitch]

April fools is just "Ha! madeyoulook!" for adults

[Aizik Friedman @JewishPitch]

Maybe it's like a Sword in the Stone situation and this man is the chosen one. Just a thought

[Alec MacGillis @AlecMacGillis]

"At California’s Yosemite National Park, the Trump administration fired the only locksmith on staff on Friday. He was the sole employee with the keys and the institutional knowledge needed to rescue visitors from locked restrooms." And at other parks:

[Aizik Friedman @JewishPitch]

@BeardedBalabos @gutgezugt Ditto

[Aizik Friedman @JewishPitch]

@yoniChanowitz Felt like I was having a stroke trying to read this

[Aizik Friedman @JewishPitch]

Spotify Wrapped kind of loses it's appeal when you're a parent of a toddler. The kind of songs I liked came in 5th place behind:
4: Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
3: The Pizza Song
2: Baby Lullaby Songs - Sleep Songs and Sounds for Sleepytime
1: Animals Freeze Dance Game

[Aizik Friedman @JewishPitch]

VP Debates are the epitome of "my Tatty could beat up your Tatty" arguments

[Aizik Friedman @JewishPitch]

My recommended schedule for Israel to blow up going forward:
Tomorrow: phones.
Friday: TVs.
Shabbos: Crock-Pots

[Aizik Friedman @JewishPitch]

@Badchonews @ayilbasvach I did not. But I definitely need to

[Aizik Friedman @JewishPitch]

If someone, unsolicited, introduces themselves with a "cool" nickname other people call them, they almost definitely came up with the nickname themselves

[Aizik Friedman @JewishPitch]

BREAKING: Leaked video of Kamala Harris picking Tim Walz to be her VP

[Aizik Friedman @JewishPitch]

@friedman_yitz The is legitimately straight outta South park

[Aizik Friedman @JewishPitch]

@mendelkalmenson I knew there was something off about the knee growing out of your palm.

Couldn't put on finger on it though

[Aizik Friedman @JewishPitch]

Things I can't believe I've actually said as a parent. I'll go first.

"Shoot! I forgot there was bread in the shower.!"

[Aizik Friedman @JewishPitch]

@gutgezugt Where are you putting Draino that does work?

[Aizik Friedman @JewishPitch]

Just bought a bottle of Draino.

Money down the drain, I tell ya