Nick Jacobson

I love having sex but I'd rather get some head

[New York Giants @Giants]

Held by Eli Manning himself 😮‍💨

[Nick Jacobson @Jicknacobson]

@JoaquinsFeenix No

[jennah🤍 @jrazb]

they weren’t kidding when they said time flies after you graduate HS

[ESPN @espn]

Never forget Big Al the legend 😂👏

[Dave @lildickytweets]

Retweet if you want a season 2

[Nick Jacobson @Jicknacobson]

@MaxwelllSimmons That's deep

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

But actually …

[Nick Jacobson @Jicknacobson]

@Spenser182 Pubg_way_better

[Kyler Wheat @radkid13]

Did you ever think you’d see a porcupine hit the milly rock ever at all in your entire life? Ya, neither did I.... yet here we are

[Dixon Police @DixonPolice]

💁‍♂️ Will you arrest my wife so I can have a good time?

👮‍♂️ No
#PetuniaFestQuestionsFromDrunks 🌺🍻

[Dixon Police @DixonPolice]

💁‍♀️ What time do you get off work?

👮‍♂️ 2:00 a.m.

💁‍♀️ Do you want me to get you off after you get off work?

👮‍♂️ No
#PetuniaFestQuestionsFromDrunks 🌺🍻

[𝑍𝑒𝑒 ᥫ᭡ @sighbrattt]

I had passed gas 🤢 in Dunkin’ Donuts while I was ordering & this black lady walked in right after me & said, “I KNOW DAMN WELL IT AINT THEM DONUTS SMELLING LIKE THAT😤

My dumb ass turned around like “THATS WHAT THE FUCK IM SAYING, LIKE DAMN IS YALL BACK THERE BAKING BOOTYHOLES?

[Nick Jacobson @Jicknacobson]

@Spenser182 Logic ain't even hateable

[Nick Jacobson @Jicknacobson]

@Spenser182 #Goats