Jillian English

[Jillian English @JillianEnglish]

@boggled102 @JarrettRenshaw I Zoom in on any one other than the one guy front and center. Boxes, trash, consumed beverages… all indicative of a completed meal. Stop grasping for shit that just isn’t there. It’s not like he’s holding an upside down bible during a staged photo shoot.

[Ed Stern is on BlueSky @EdStern]

Well that escalated steadily for four years.

[Porter Anderson @Porter_Anderson]

Media: @jaketapper in today's homily: "Please note how many of the #Republicans objecting to @JoeBiden's win are also willing to raise questions about their own victories at the ballot box on the same day on the same ballot using the same voting systems. How many of them? Zero."

[Jake Tapper 🦅 @jaketapper]

Watching the vaccination of politicians who have done more to help the virus spread instead of containing it

[Jillian English @JillianEnglish]

Ok... But Melania DOES look like a Mortal Kombat character, right??

[MLB @MLB]

On his 39th birthday, @UncleCharlie50 tossed his 1st complete game since 2016. 👏

[Jake Tapper 🦅 @jaketapper]

From the beginning of the GOP convention on Monday until 5 pm ET today, 3,688 people in the U.S. died from coronavirus. More than died on 9/11 -- just since the convention began.

[Jillian English @JillianEnglish]

@DrBiden @JoeBiden should change his campaign slogan to “Get dogs back in the White House.” Slam dunk. Guaranteed winner. See y’all in November.

[Calvin and Hobbes Fan Account @Calvinn_Hobbes]

This one goes out to all my over-thinkers out there. 😅 #calvinandhobbes

[Jillian English @JillianEnglish]

Wow. Suuuuper dusty in here right now.

[Yashar Ali 🐘 @yashar]

A wonderful afternoon stroll with orphans Longuru, Loteku, Bule, Sera, & Lomunyak

Elephants never forget, so they're still dealing with the trauma of losing their moms as infants often at the hands of human beings

But now they have each other and have formed a new family.

[Jillian English @JillianEnglish]

Done. Say no more. Wait... what are your thoughts on the charmin bears? No, no. Nevermind. You have my vote.

[Joe Biden @JoeBiden]

I’ll read my daily briefings.

[Jillian English @JillianEnglish]

Honestly, this is the best news to come out of 2020 so far...

[The Associated Press @AP]

"Beavis and Butt-Head," the animated series about a pair of Gen X slackers, is coming back to TV. Comedy Central says it has ordered two seasons of new shows. https://t.co/oLBghUe8WQ

[Sarah Cooper @sarahcpr]

A lot of people think I was dropped on my head as a baby but it actually happened much later in life

[NEGATIV_SPACE @NEGATIV_SPC]

In my stream last night, I said I would be disappointed if my coworker who looks like @Nick_Offerman didn't dress up like #RonSwanson today. He did not disappoint!

And no, this is not a Photoshopped pic, it is 100% legit!

[Jennifer Wright @JenAshleyWright]

I am a full grown, reasonably competent adult woman, but I still believe if there are only two cookies left you've got to eat both of them, or the one remaining cookie will be lonely.

[Jenna Fischer @jennafischer]

I love you St. Louis! I love all of you who watched this game at Enterprise Center. I love all of you who watched in the pouring rain from Busch Stadium. From viewing parties and at home! We All Bleed Blue! Congratulations @StLouisBlues Stanley Cup Winners!

[Jillian English @JillianEnglish]

@MikeMeurer I honestly think you’re lying that you’ve never heard of slicing bagels “bread style.” But I’m thrilled that somehow I got an email notification about this tweet.

[Ben Schwartz @rejectedjokes]

I was at a bar tonight when "I 2 I" from A Goofy Movie played and I looked around smiling hoping someone would smile back knowing how awesome the song was but got nothing. So I'm here to remind everyone how awesome @tevincampbelll and that song still is.
https://t.co/oK7TSwpe5j

[Ana Navarro-Cárdenas @ananavarro]

Give me a damn break.
@acosta didn’t assault anybody.
@PressSec, on the other hand, happily lies for a man who boasts about “grabbing women by the (baby cat)”.

[Jillian English @JillianEnglish]

Celebrating my niece’s 7th birthday. Instead of gifts she asked for donations she could take to the local animal shelter. Of course she had to have @cesarmillan on her cake.