Jim Joe Kelly

Anyone can cook

[Jim Joe Kelly @JimJoeKelly2]

Me walking into my RA’s room to tell him I peed the bed

[Jim Joe Kelly @JimJoeKelly2]

@UncleChaps “Honor is dead. But I’ll see what I can do.”

[Jim Joe Kelly @JimJoeKelly2]

Cuck Schumer

[Jim Joe Kelly @JimJoeKelly2]

The random James Bond tribute for no reason feels like Oscar is finally listening to one of Greggs ideas. Movies are back!

[Trill Withers @TylerIAm]

That beer hit my hand on a Friday like Mjolnir

[Jim Joe Kelly @JimJoeKelly2]

Wonder what his thoughts are on the current protests as a Jewish alumni

[Jim Joe Kelly @JimJoeKelly2]

Just sittin in here

[Jim Joe Kelly @JimJoeKelly2]

@zei_squirrel https://t.co/oYjbvcej38

[Jim Joe Kelly @JimJoeKelly2]

Imagine being the literal pope and not being the most famous person from your country

[Jim Joe Kelly @JimJoeKelly2]

@gracecamille_ He’s taken off his shoes and one of his socks

[Jim Joe Kelly @JimJoeKelly2]

I need to buy a motorcycle and move to walkers point

[Jim Joe Kelly @JimJoeKelly2]

No one is better at disappearing into a cloud of smoke than a drug dealer.

*applause finally dies down after hours

[Jim Joe Kelly @JimJoeKelly2]

Millie Poopie Brown

[Jim Joe Kelly @JimJoeKelly2]

I can’t get over how comically unbelievable the bullying is in the new stranger things I always am laughing. It’s also jcause bullying is funny

[Jim Joe Kelly @JimJoeKelly2]

Smell of cumcumber is better than the taste

[Jim Joe Kelly @JimJoeKelly2]

Me just doing my job:

The baby being pushed passed me in a stroller:

[Jim Joe Kelly @JimJoeKelly2]

Oh now you all want to see him? Fine.
*I pull back the curtain to reveal a small toad man frantically typing and calculating various data and numbers*
The Angry mob “grab him!* #
Me “Well Jerome, we best move on to another town that needs us”
🐸 “ I’ll leave my findings with 🐒

[Jim Joe Kelly @JimJoeKelly2]

#portwinebuzzin

[Jim Joe Kelly @JimJoeKelly2]

No bettor felling than the buzz after consuming a full tub of port wine cheese in one sitting, bliss

[Jim Joe Kelly @JimJoeKelly2]

Legalize and normalize smoking seed: Sploog, if you will

[Jim Joe Kelly @JimJoeKelly2]

The most unrealistic part about The Incredibles is that that cop didn’t shoot Frozone immediately