Udder (parody)

Battler of inanimate objects, union representative for the shadow people.

[Udder (parody) @Jim_Udder]

When the Coke commercial with the snappy soundtrack comes on, I dance over and high five all my imaginary friends so we can laugh heartily and toast our good fortune together.

[Udder (parody) @Jim_Udder]

@FreddieKraft @dustinlong Does this look infected?

[Udder (parody) @Jim_Udder]

420 laps in and I'm pulling negative 3g's on my bong.
#nascar #itsbristolmaybe

[Udder (parody) @Jim_Udder]

You better wine and dine me prior to trying to jam a race car inside me.
#OReillySeries

[Udder (parody) @Jim_Udder]

You can't smoke weed all day if you don't start in the morning.

[Udder (parody) @Jim_Udder]

Did the NFL have a few ribs removed in order to pull off this self tribute?
#SuperbOwl

[Udder (parody) @Jim_Udder]

Fitness Action Cat taking an action nap in the middle of a roundhouse kick.
Such discipline.

[BradPitManuever (parody) @BradPitManeuver]

I mean, what's the worst that could happen?

[BradPitManuever (parody) @BradPitManeuver]

My first go at soldering reminds me of the phrase "it's not pretty, but it works."
Also shrink wrap hides more sins than my first ex.

[Udder (parody) @Jim_Udder]

Balls'n'Elbows
Just like mama used to break.
#nascar

[Udder (parody) @Jim_Udder]

This dish is a melange titled White Trash and the International Incident

[Udder (parody) @Jim_Udder]

I joined Twitter tho.
.
X just kinda happened.

[Udder (parody) @Jim_Udder]

Do you remember when you joined X? I do! #MyXAnniversary

[Udder (parody) @Jim_Udder]

@UnbalancedMemes What if the goat wore the sandals and the people had the hooves?

[Udder (parody) @Jim_Udder]

@slipkidWalter The Gorillas and I quit talking back in 2022.
Unintentionally Mayday, because the Universe has a subtle sense of comedic timing and delivery.

[Udder (parody) @Jim_Udder]

Snapped tendons on either side of my middle finger knuckle.
Zero contact injury reaching out to turn off a faucet.
For fuck's fucking sake.

[Udder (parody) @Jim_Udder]

@GuerrillaMS @ImAngryEric Coincidentally,
Cleat-Ass was my nickname in junior high.

[Udder (parody) @Jim_Udder]

@ImAngryEric Defund Insurance.

[Udder (parody) @Jim_Udder]

Nobody likes me
Everybody hates me
I'm gonna go eat worms

[Udder (parody) @Jim_Udder]

@DCreyke Not gonna lie, I went through a Judy Blume phase around those years also.

[Udder (parody) @Jim_Udder]

@DCreyke I totally tried to force feed them to my 427 children.