Jimmy Two Times

Get the papers get the papers

[Jimmy Two Times @Jimmy2xtimes]

Just paid $6 for a tin of Zyns

[Jimmy Two Times @Jimmy2xtimes]

When Bron retires im getting a 24 pack and pouring the last one out for him

[Jimmy Two Times @Jimmy2xtimes]

#Obsession movie review: I could fix her.

[Jimmy Two Times @Jimmy2xtimes]

It’s a disgrace what the Knicks have done to OG Anunoby. He only speaks in Morse code now

[Jimmy Two Times @Jimmy2xtimes]

40 feet away watching a quad box and can still see Fletcher Loyer’s chopped ass hairline

[Jimmy Two Times @Jimmy2xtimes]

How i talk to my schlong after a night of whiskey coke’s

[Jimmy Two Times @Jimmy2xtimes]

You could give me a dictionary and 24 hours and i still wouldn’t be able to find the words i have about Bam dropping 83

[Jimmy Two Times @Jimmy2xtimes]

Clear indicator of an upcoming white boy summer

[Adam Schefter @AdamSchefter]

Indy lands its top target: Free-agent WR Alec Pierce is returning to the Colts with a four-year, $116 million deal, per @PatMcAfeeShow.

[Jimmy Two Times @Jimmy2xtimes]

No i will not be signing up for my company 401K i can NOT run that far

[Jimmy Two Times @Jimmy2xtimes]

Somehow its legal to be hungover on stolen land

[Jimmy Two Times @Jimmy2xtimes]

Stick to your silly groundhog. I know spring’s around the corner when my Chinese neighbor’s 8 year old fires up the Spiderman bicycle

[Jimmy Two Times @Jimmy2xtimes]

Justice for Clav

[Jimmy Two Times @Jimmy2xtimes]

The worst person you know will die on a hill that this was a good halftime show

[Jimmy Two Times @Jimmy2xtimes]

In 49 states it’s just Football. #Indiana

[Jimmy Two Times @Jimmy2xtimes]

Nissan Heisman house boutta turn Fernando Mendoza into the house librarian

[Adam Schefter @AdamSchefter]

The last time the Colts made the playoffs was in 2020 with Philip Rivers as their quarterback.

Now, at 44 years old, he returns with the team sitting at 8–5 and just outside the AFC playoff picture, hoping to help get them back to the postseason.

[Jimmy Two Times @Jimmy2xtimes]

Going to the Chiefs game Sunday. Taking an everything shower incase Taylor Swift will be there.

[Jimmy Two Times @Jimmy2xtimes]

@lyft start running background checks on your drivers

[Jimmy Two Times @Jimmy2xtimes]

Streets are saying Quentin Johnston couldn’t even catch a common cold

[Jimmy Two Times @Jimmy2xtimes]

I have this crazy OCD where if you accidentally bump into me or hit my shoulder you have to suck me off