JæMÇ 🇺🇬

Funny, Innocent, Easygoing, God fearing. Chelsea lad & Barca Culer

[JæMÇ 🇺🇬 @JimmyJamce]

It's quite funny how most millennials want to be tweelebs, social media influencers and everything that can be provided on virtual networks😂😂😂

[Weird Confessions Uganda @UG_confesses]

People pliz, I cannot spend my 9 to 5 typing out stuff at office, sending emails, going from the first floor to the third floor, taking this there or bringing this here and then I get home and you want me to spend the whole evening texting you. My brain is tired. My body is tired. So excuse me for not texting you every free time I get just because "I know you've already left work and you're home."

There's more to my life than Whatsapp texts. I want to watch some football, I want to watch the news, I want to catch up on my series, I want to read confessions. Gwe don't you have things to do? You also find things to do

[Uncle Ras D'artte @Dartte__45]

Not regularly, just once a week , and after every 5 mins in each day that ends with "...day," occasionally in places of worship that we have to remind ourselves where we are, in meetings with hot women, in groove , while watching music videos or sex scenes in moves, at restaurants seeing a beautiful waitress, in public transport,, or while trekking on a mountain sitted alone with our thoughts, flash backs.
We rest while sleeping, except when we have sexual dreams.
So yeah, all the time, God is good & that's his nature, wow!

[Weird Confessions Uganda @UG_confesses]

My husband and I figured out we cant sleep in the same bed real quick. I do weird shit and throw elbows in my sleep and I dont want to traumatize the poor man. He also snores and it’s just awful. So I sleep in another room. We both love it. It has worked for us. We have our main bedroom that we use together most times and we watch tv before bed in that bed and when he falls asleep I go into my room which is right next to it. I am a night owl and he is an early bird and my having a light on to read bothered him so this works very well for us. And I have it decorated the girly way I like while “his room” is more neutral. Anyway, we have been married 9 years and we’ve been doing this for 7 and it works great for us. Both sleep well and we are together until time for sleep

[Weird Confessions Uganda @UG_confesses]

Nobody needs to know your ex. Nobody needs to know who you're dating. Make your personal life seem boring and uninteresting and most importantly, let it be PERSONAL.

No one on social media is happy for you. They are making comparisons and figuring out whether to feel sorry for you if they are doing better than you, or spite you if you're doing better than them.

Get your relationships off of socials.

[Weird Confessions Uganda @UG_confesses]

There's desperation. Then there's stupidity. I don't know why you think you advertising clothes, even lingerie, by you wearing it in a video or pics is going to make me buy them. I'm not going to buy a piece somebody already wore, and that pic on the internet already. Makes it feel secondhand or thirdhand already. But also, some of those clothes are intimate, body-hugging pieces. I'm not going to buy something that already smells of your punani.

Social media has deluded you people that you are fashion week models, and your pieces are Christian Dior. The other guys have plenty of the same piece, and reserve the won piece for their display or for celebrities to wear. You, you remove it smelling kibadda and put it back on the rack 🚮

[Warreń | Global Citizen @IamWarrenCB]

Being underestimated is an advantage you should protect for as long as possible.

[Weird Confessions Uganda @UG_confesses]

Admin see what I said about these chicks in public spaces constantly letting us down? And then that chick saying that hours later?
As women we need to learn the difference between preference and contempt.

The people saying, “Why are you bothered by her choice? We all have preferences.” Absolutely. You are free to choose whatever you want. But there is an important distinction between preference and contempt.

Preference says: “This is what I want for myself.” Contempt says: “People who don't have this are beneath me.” The first is perfectly legitimate. The second is an attitude, and people are perfectly entitled to react to it.

You can have whatever standards you like. You can insist on wealth, height, education, status, looks, religion, lifestyle, or anything else. Nobody is obligated to date you, but nobody is obligated to applaud your criteria either.

“It's my choice” establishes your freedom to make the choice. It does not establish that the choice is realistic, measurable to you, or immune from criticism. The freedom you have to those choices does not somehow repeal the consequences.

There is nothing offensive about saying, “I want a man with money.” But there is something quite different about you saying, “I cannot date a man without money.” Takes someone who understands the English language to notice that those two aren't the same thing. The first statement is something you wish for yourself. The second one gives away your materialism AKA a gold-digging bitch. And people love to judge those.

You don't get to convert contempt into “just a preference” and then demand that everyone else treat it as a private choice. Not every choice is a good choice simply because it is a choice. And not every opinion becomes immune from consequences simply because someone has the freedom to express it.

You have the right to set your standards. But everyone else has the right to observe what those standards say about you, and to decide what they think of them.

[Mujuni Raymond @qataharraymond]

I’ll answer this fully;

As friends of the King we insisted the committee hear out the family of the King. They did. They have neither been shown his child, a picture of him, his lineage, his mother, his date of birth or evidence of his existence. We are hard pressed to continue

[JæMÇ 🇺🇬 @JimmyJamce]

@jacob_ampeire @UEDCLTD @uetcl @MEMD_Uganda @SpoxOfUEDCL @MDofUEDCL @ZambaaliBulasio Exactly my point. They switch off power every day during the peak hours and when you reach out to them, they give you an automated reply.

If it's load shedding let them tell us and we prepare for it rather than telling us "technical glitches"

[JæMÇ 🇺🇬 @JimmyJamce]

@UEDCLTD But what's the issue with power in Kayunga, Wakiso. Everyday it goes off exactly at 7 pm and is back by 11pm.

Is it load shedding oba it's just incompetence somewhere?

[Weird Confessions Uganda @UG_confesses]

There are some patients that come to me and my thoughts in that moment are, "God your parents really should have let you play in the mud more."

So many people's immunity grew unchallenged and therefore have very little of it because they just didn't play outside, never eaten anything off the ground, always bathed in antibiotics soaps 😔

[wes @weskambale]

don't look at the launch of a digital website as a mere launch of a website

for an increasingly unpopular faction, every physical gatherin' serves another function:

accountability, mobilization, and public affirmation that you're still in the fold

a website can be launched with a tweet, a press release or a button

but gatherin' people physically to launch one is not really about the website

it's about puttin' the people behind the faction in the same room, demonstratin' that the network is still intact

and publicly reaffirmin' membership and allegiance, more especially while puttin' on merch with the face of the faction leader

so launchin' a website via a tweet may be sufficient for the website, but it isn't gainful for the faction

the launch is the excuse, the gatherin' is the point

[PENTANE🎤💜💡 @Thepentane_]

1. The vagina is about ten times cleaner than the mouth. No matter how you brush your teeth always, the mouth is still the dirtiest part of the body.

2. Your intestines know what shape they're supposed to be in, and can move themselves, which means surgeons can just stuff them back into you when they're done and they'll sort themselves out.

3. When you do tattoo removal, the ink doesn't disappear, you pee it out. Your body's immune system breaks down the pigments of ink and it flows in your blood stream, gets processed through your kidneys, then you pee out the ink.

4. If you hit your chest at a very specific time in the electrical cycle your heart will stop.

5. The pain you feel from a sunburn is your skin cells effectively killing themselves before they mutate into cancer.

6. The way your eyes are shaped causes your vision to be upside down but your brain flips the image automatically.

7. When you die, your hearing is the last to go. So imagine you die in a fire or in a war or something and the last thing you hear is like screaming and chaos

8. The length of a man's penis is equal to the length of his thumb times 3

9. Everyone's tongue print is different, just like fingerprint.

10. Babies have 94 More Bones Than Adults.

11. The human brain typically weighs around three pounds, and men’s brains are on average a bit larger than women’s. But Brain weight is not a measure of intelligence.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

12. Your heart pumps about 2,500 gallons of blood every day.

[Olivia Buzaglo @OliviaBuzaglo]

Really important to get a win in Xabi Alonso’s first home game, even if it wasn’t comfortable.

Joao Pedro is something else & good that him, Morgan Rogers & Cole Palmer were all involved in the goals once again.

Can’t be conceding 2/3 every game though.

[Beewol @beewol]

“You know, I think I understand what you're like now. You're very beautiful and you think men are only interested in you because you're beautiful, but you want them to be interested in you because you're you.

The problem is, aside from all that beauty, you're not very interesting. You're rude, you're hostile, you're sullen, you're withdrawn.

I know you want someone to look past all that at the real person underneath but the only reason anyone would bother to look past all that is because you're beautiful.

Ironic, isn't it? In an odd way you’re your own problem.”

[Tony Otoa @Comrade_Otoa]

If you are over 30 years old, please take take care of your health. Health complications are worse than anything else. Be kind to your body and it will make you happy. Lastly, protect your mental health by all means necessary.

[Ian Rumanyika @irumanyika]

Before you call it submission, understand the culture.

In Buganda, okufukamira is a traditional way a Muganda woman shows respect. It is not about being lesser. It is about honoring people, tradition, and the values passed down through generations.

And for the man being knelt to, it is not simply about power. It is about responsibility. To receive such respect means leading with humility, protecting with integrity, and proving worthy of the honor given to you.

Thank you my daughter Linda Namayanja for demonstrating Buganda humility and culture through this gesture.

In Buganda, leadership is not simply taken. It is earned. Respect flows both ways.

In this case @LindaMpanga knelt before me to honor tradition, not to diminish herself. I receive that honor not as permission to rule over her, but as a reminder of my duty and responsibility.

Sometimes you cannot understand a cultural gesture by looking at it through another culture's lens. You have to understand what it means to the people who practice it.

[Sahil Bloom @SahilBloom]

Underrated life advice: Just be easy to work with. Show up on time. Do what you said you'd do. Bring solutions, not problems. Never create drama. Be responsive. Be emotionally consistent. Be kind. People will always want to support someone who just makes their life easier.

[Useful Idiot @ZeeroBrain]

..and their definition of rich is because they rent a 1.2m apartment in Kyanja...they are servicing a second hand Japanese metal loan..they can attend brunch once in a month ...not really reach but just better than those they think aren't like them

[Useful Idiot @ZeeroBrain]

..let me waste some time