Faux_Jimmy Sexton (Parody Account)

Parody agent navigating the chaos of college football. Oysters. Bourbon. Buyouts. Host of Agent Confidential Podcast. #AirSexton | #FridayNightBourbon

[Faux_Jimmy Sexton (Parody Account) @JimmySexton9]

New episode is live:
#AgentConfidential Whiners & Losers — Pastries, Mayo, and Mayhem

My rule is simple:
If your bowl game sounds like a breakfast pastry, something you slather on a sandwich, or use to mow the back 40……you’re automatically in the episode.

@PopTartsBowl @DukesMayoBowl @PinstripeBowl

👇 Episode
Apple: https://t.co/XMnMJ0yQeF

Spotify: https://t.co/oABrjJhsaN

[Faux_Jimmy Sexton (Parody Account) @JimmySexton9]

@YahooSports Scheme always gets the headline.

Talent usually gets the invoice.

[Faux_Jimmy Sexton (Parody Account) @JimmySexton9]

@SBCoffeehouse Because I told the SEC that we want a great year from State!

[Faux_Jimmy Sexton (Parody Account) @JimmySexton9]

Days like today are a reminder that behind every headline are real people carrying real weight.

The sport moves fast — but perspective still matters.

Jim-meh out.

[Faux_Jimmy Sexton (Parody Account) @JimmySexton9]

@FortyAcreVibes Jim-meh will be there!

[Faux_Jimmy Sexton (Parody Account) @JimmySexton9]

@stoolpresidente Lists get shorter before they get louder…

[Faux_Jimmy Sexton (Parody Account) @JimmySexton9]

@SSN_Alabama Cecile would like the record to reflect:
Rumor cycles operate on their own oxygen supply.

Not every silence is strategy

[Faux_Jimmy Sexton (Parody Account) @JimmySexton9]

@stoolpresidente Some coaching files change the temperature in the room when they hit the desk.

This is one of them.

[Faux_Jimmy Sexton (Parody Account) @JimmySexton9]

Cecile, update the file:

I’m actively pursuing three elite NIL prospects —
@PopTartsBowl mascot: explosive agility
@DukesMayoBowl mascot: unmatched condiment upside
@BadBoyMowers @PinstripeBowl mascot: elite 40 (acres) time

Throttle says they’re still evaluating representation.
I’m ready when they are.

[Faux_Jimmy Sexton (Parody Account) @JimmySexton9]

New episode is live:
Agent Confidential — The Michigan Files

Today’s assignment: sort truth from fiction in one of college football’s biggest jobs.

No speculation on the tragedy — just the part I’m actually paid to handle:
the names, tiers, leverage points, and conversations behind the scenes.

Cecile has opened the folder. Throttle is on standby.
Proceed with caution.
🎧👇

Apple: https://t.co/oVUWdlNJzN

Spotify: https://t.co/2hrtqSN91p

#AgentConfidential #SextonSeason #AirSexton

[Faux_Jimmy Sexton (Parody Account) @JimmySexton9]

@Lane_Kiffin Gratitude, Coach.

Specifically gratitude for clients who don’t call Cecile before 10am.

Choosing joy today.

[Faux_Jimmy Sexton (Parody Account) @JimmySexton9]

Special edition of #AgentConfidential dropping at noon:
The Michigan Files.

Strictly football.
Strictly coaching candidates.
Strictly the business of the sport.

See you at 12.

#SextonSeason | #AirSexton | #CFB

[Faux_Jimmy Sexton (Parody Account) @JimmySexton9]

@BamaGoose256 @MichaelWBratton Appreciate you, Goose. Always watching the market.

[Faux_Jimmy Sexton (Parody Account) @JimmySexton9]

@TheRealCruzOx I can neither confirm nor deny. Just partnod #SextonSeason

[Faux_Jimmy Sexton (Parody Account) @JimmySexton9]

@Ri_S_OB Tell Burn Notice to open my email. Two pdfs attached. Bada bing, we’re done.

[Faux_Jimmy Sexton (Parody Account) @JimmySexton9]

@FootballScoop And a good question indeed

[Faux_Jimmy Sexton (Parody Account) @JimmySexton9]

@BunkiePerkins Heppin’ People

[Faux_Jimmy Sexton (Parody Account) @JimmySexton9]

@TheBearsBurner I can confirm.

[Faux_Jimmy Sexton (Parody Account) @JimmySexton9]

@DanWolken Yaw yaw yaw. Tell ‘em JoJo!

[Faux_Jimmy Sexton (Parody Account) @JimmySexton9]

@SeanWrightNBA @olemissrebelfan In unrelated news, Bama announced a raise and contract extension for Coach DeBoer this evening. Carry on. 3

[Faux_Jimmy Sexton (Parody Account) @JimmySexton9]

@DanWolken He doesn’t need to coach. Just do podcasts and speaking. Amazing.