JIMMY SPLIT

Rap maker + Beat maker + Video maker // @HalfWoodie // The Multidimensional Being • 1/2💀 • (he/him)

[HORSEGOD @lunarsolitaire]

BLAKUZA THE FAMILY // JUNETEENTH

FIGERSON
FOULE MONK
FAILSAFE
HERES JOHNNY
LUNAR
J SHXNOBI
QUAZIII D. SOL
THEZES
YOUNG STADIX

Cover art by the inimitable Virgil Warren

[JIMMY SPLIT @Jimmy_Split]

don’t even joke lad

[JIMMY SPLIT @Jimmy_Split]

whe I was a kid I thought Micheal Jackson and the animated Aladdin were the same guy idk how really just they were the same concept in my mind somehow

[JIMMY SPLIT @Jimmy_Split]

just saw something really funny

[JIMMY SPLIT @Jimmy_Split]

7 whole years of bad luck is an extremely ridiculous punishment for just breaking one mirror

[JIMMY SPLIT @Jimmy_Split]

they named a fuckin park after that guy smh

[JIMMY SPLIT @Jimmy_Split]

I have invented a caffeinated cigarette that’s good for you.

[JIMMY SPLIT @Jimmy_Split]

sometimes i h8 myself cuz im reading about the history of LSD and I know I already look like off first contact some fuckin guy who likes to read about the history of LSD

[JIMMY SPLIT @Jimmy_Split]

when my father was killed by gnomes and gremlins during their year of unity I screamed loud.

[JIMMY SPLIT @Jimmy_Split]

remember convincing my friends brother when he went to the bathroom Jill got spit on by an acid zombie and all her clothes melted and she was all naked but we died and it reset before he came back.

[Blaidd @leoblaidd]

Cagaço que eu tinha com 9 anos de idade jogando isso kkkkkkkkk

[JIMMY SPLIT @Jimmy_Split]

Doctor asked if I smoke I said I vape and their eyes widened like they saw a mushroom cloud in the distance

[JIMMY SPLIT @Jimmy_Split]

@slugtr4x Comedy legend fr

[JIMMY SPLIT @Jimmy_Split]

brother… he’s not really talking about the bulls

[Jack (not a burner) @_jackmcpherson]

Johnny Knoxville breaking down in tears because he can’t get his shit rocked by bulls anymore is why Jackass will forever be HOF

[JIMMY SPLIT @Jimmy_Split]

the left r doing this to your kids in reading class

[JIMMY SPLIT @Jimmy_Split]

Jay-Z please kill DJ Vlad !!!

[DJ Vlad @djvlad]

I have a confession.

Roc Nation has been paying me to support Megan.

They also paid off all the jury members to convict Tory.

And they bribed the judge, too. Jay-Z did a verse for his grandson's new album.

They paid off Megan's doctor to lie about the bullet fragments. She was never shot.

The LA police are all on Jay's payroll. And it doesn't stop with LA, but you're not ready to hear that part.

The Mexican guy who stabbed Tory - who do you think paid him to do that? You already know the answer to that.

The 3 supreme court judges who denied Tory's appeal - all paid off by the Roc Mafia.

Jay also paid Trump NOT to pardon Tory. Even though it's a state case, Trump can only pardon federal cases. But knowing Trump likes to bend the rules, Jay wasn't taking any chances.

I can't keep these lies secret anymore. If this is my last tweet, you know who silenced me.

[JIMMY SPLIT @Jimmy_Split]

wanna do coke in this room

[JIMMY SPLIT @Jimmy_Split]

ah fuckk these pills r hurting me so bad where did u say u got these from…

[JIMMY SPLIT @Jimmy_Split]

I have a good buddy that consumes 0 media at all and only fishes in his free time but he talks about this show constantly.

[IGN @IGN]

Primal creator Genndy Tartakovsky feared he was ‘jumping the shark’ with Season 3 before realizing it was ‘awesome.’ https://t.co/Dh6Ttm5719

[HORSEGOD @lunarsolitaire]

LARRY & LEON

NOW STREAMING

[JIMMY SPLIT @Jimmy_Split]

3 little kids stacked up in a trench coat posing as an adult getting drunk af and using teamwork to drive a car home