Nin

We sell two kinds of jokes here, regular and political.

[Nin @JivingChives]

New law for the US: To become president, you must be both elected, and able to shred it on the bass

[Nin @JivingChives]

Catch me outside a 7/11 playing koi-koi with a bunch of old yakuza toughs. Bitches don't even know I got both the moon and the sake cup in my hand

[Nin @JivingChives]

Democracy only truly dies when we say "Hey killing certain types of people because of the way that they were born is probably a bad thing"

[Nin @JivingChives]

You: Waits for the bus like a plebian

Me: Pours oats on the side of the road and rides the subsequently arriving horse like a goddamned midwestern hero

[Nin @JivingChives]

Nyarlathotep's a pretty cool dude once you get to know him

[Nin @JivingChives]

There is a galaxy outside of space and time which is inhabited by a single cube. That cube is known as the "Fuck Cube". No one knows why.

[Nin @JivingChives]

I'm back from the war I've singlehandedly been fighting against the ottomans. Hope y'all are ready for more jokes.

[Nin @JivingChives]

If you drink warm root beer under a full moon at 3 AM you gain the ability to read every language.

[Nin @JivingChives]

Getting absolutely BLASTED on star crystals from astral dimension 9 right now my dudes.

[Nin @JivingChives]

Donate to my patreon today and for only three dollars a month I will come to your house and kick you in the shins

[Nin @JivingChives]

little known science fact: if you ever hear the song "rasputin" in another room, you will involuntarily do anything to enter said room.

[Nin @JivingChives]

My little book of secrets contains much hidden and dark knowledge. Also a little picture of a bunny that I drew when I was four.

[Nin @JivingChives]

I push the little keys on my synthesizer and it goes "Yiy! Yiy! Yiy!" is that normal?

[Nin @JivingChives]

Gary Kasparov was killed by IBM's secret police in 1997 after his loss to deep blue. Remember him

[Nin @JivingChives]

@McMasterManager And don't Bee Racist. Bees haven't done anything to you

[Nin @JivingChives]

If you feel a whale's emotions you straight up combust

[Nin @JivingChives]

The moment people figure out bottling sunlight you'd better bet they're going to be selling that shit "purified" for $50.00 a pop

[Nin @JivingChives]

"This machine kills fascists" reads a sticker on an office chair

[Nin @JivingChives]

Dogs are the best and I really wish we would devote more resourses towards making them immortal

[Nin @JivingChives]

Lightning Mcqueen is for a united Yugoslavia

[Nin @JivingChives]

It's incredibly easy to tell when you're on the wrong side of history but people still do it for some reason??