jake

I'm like a reverse-trickster, constantly being tricked!

[jake @Jmac7973]

What do other people be doing in the CVS prescription pick up line? I wait half an hour for a 30 second interaction

[jake @Jmac7973]

Due to some poor planning on my part I’ve been accidentally attending the Puerto Rican Day Parade for about 2 hours

[jake @Jmac7973]

Getting into tennis; only rule seems to be that anyone I root for is guaranteed to lose

[jake @Jmac7973]

Flights to Tehran at primo prices right now

[jake @Jmac7973]

I would also like tom holland to keep his distance from Hollywood, even film sets in general, just to be safe

[Chief Nerd @TheChiefNerd]

🚨 Tom Holland on Why He Keeps His Distance From Hollywood

“Had I not walked away from certain situations, let's just put it at that, I would be a very different person today … I really do not like Hollywood. It is not for me. The business really scares me.”

[jake @Jmac7973]

In Brooklyn it’s illegal for your show poster to be readable. They’re using gothic fonts out of a nightmare. They’re writing this shit in wing dings.

[jake @Jmac7973]

The “ASU frat leader” really bothers me. Like is he the president of the frat? Vice president? Don’t tell me he’s treasurer

[KickChamp👑 @Kick_Champ]

ASU frat leader had to pop a ZYN to RELIEVE his sky-high CORTISOL levels while being forced to watch Clavicular JESTERMAX on his computer 👀

[jake @Jmac7973]

Every tweet now is “check my header” or “this is just like my pinned tweet” I will never click on your disgusting profile

[jake @Jmac7973]

Is pussy still in bio?

[jake @Jmac7973]

This Rupi Kaur ass tweet

[Councilwoman Inna Vernikov @InnaVernikov]

They tried to bury us. They did not know we were seeds.

[jake @Jmac7973]

Tough choice who to root for this finals: when the pacers win it’s the greatest game I’ve ever seen, when OKC wins it’s boring as shit.

[jake @Jmac7973]

if the CIA can induce ketamine overdose I’ll be an American patriot for life. I’ll throw my copy of Devil’s Chessboard in the trash.

[jake @Jmac7973]

Just found out “femdom” does not mean Female Dominican. It is actually a sex term. Very awkward interaction at the bodega.

[jake @Jmac7973]

Had a dream Bronny James scored 70 points last night. Bet accordingly, boys

[jake @Jmac7973]

Sick of these attempted assassinations, talk to me when he’s dead

[jake @Jmac7973]

Skidoosh

[jake @Jmac7973]

Worst thing gay people ever did was convince Azealia Banks that she’s funny

[jake @Jmac7973]

It’s funny cause I know guys that look like this, they’re usually very good at their jobs!

[Libs of TikTok @libsoftiktok]

The new White House Associate Communications Director.