Joaquim Saldanha

laughter is the best Medicine

[Joaquim Saldanha @Joasal2]

2/3rd of the year with hard work is almost over.

Rest 1/3rd of the year would be in festival mode…..Independence Day, Raksha Bandhan , Ganapati, Onam, Navratri, Eid, Dussehra, Diwali, Christmas and the Year ends.….🎉

[Joaquim Saldanha @Joasal2]

A man saw his mother-in-law tying herself to the train tracks.
He couldn’t believe what he was witnessing, looked at her and shouted, “Don’t do it!”
“Why the hell not?!” she yelled.
He shouted back,
“They’re  aren’t running today!”
🥱

[Joaquim Saldanha @Joasal2]

OK, so naked running…

Apparently this means running without GPS, music or any other tech.

Wish I'd know this an hour ago..
🫢

[Joaquim Saldanha @Joasal2]

I asked Guruji “What is a wise thing to tell my wife?”

He answered “Nothing”.
😀

[Joaquim Saldanha @Joasal2]

Doctor-Congratulations, you've come out of the coma after 6 months..

Patient-Can't I stay a few more days?

Doctor-Are you crazy?

Patient-No, I'm married..😁

[Joaquim Saldanha @Joasal2]

My 1st guru - my father
My 2nd guru - my teacher
My 3rd guru- my wife

After that I realised I don’t need any more knowledge nor would any knowledge be of any use 😀

[Joaquim Saldanha @Joasal2]

My doctor has given me 3 days to give up drinking…

I picked the 2nd of August, Sept 20th and October 25th.
😊

[Joaquim Saldanha @Joasal2]

*Reminder*

If you have promised to love your spouse "24/7", then today is the day!
😊

[Joaquim Saldanha @Joasal2]

Filling *SIR* (Special Intensive Revision) Enumeration form is the second toughest thing to do in life which requires patience. 
.
.
First is still understanding women’s moods !!😉

[Joaquim Saldanha @Joasal2]

A Recent Survey found that 80% Men’s want to party 7 times a week. Figures drastically dropped to 20% when words 'with wife' were added... & it dropped to 0.20% when words 'own wife' were added .
 Humour#😂🥂

[Joaquim Saldanha @Joasal2]

Pyar, Ishq, Mohabbat, Sab Dhoka Hai...

Apna Income tax return (ITR) File Kar Lo Ab Bhi Mauka Hai 😂

[Joaquim Saldanha @Joasal2]

My CA, filing my income tax returns called to ask me under which head to put all the cosmetics purchased by my wife on my credit card.

I told him to put them under "Sundri Expenses"!! 😂

[Joaquim Saldanha @Joasal2]

Never thought in my life I'd have to order underwear from Blinkit

It's been 3 days since clothes have not dried..😭

[Joaquim Saldanha @Joasal2]

😂 Aamir Khan

Maybe he's the only Indian who's consistently following the RTO rule of surrendering a 15-year-old model...!!!
🤪

[Joaquim Saldanha @Joasal2]

Wife was mad and said " I've had enough you’re nicer to the dog than you are to me”

You take her out every day but you haven't taken me out for years.

He said, you could have told me sooner. I had no idea you wanted to pee outside!!
🤔

[Joaquim Saldanha @Joasal2]

A boy at Marine Drive in a romantic mood to his girlfriend - I can see the whole world in your eyes.
.
.
.
One Mumbaikar was passing by. He asked - Arey, Goregoan pe baarish hai kya zara dekh ke bata na please!!!
😃☔️

[Joaquim Saldanha @Joasal2]

Me - kaha jaa raha hai bro?
Neighbour - office
Me- itni baarish mein?
N - biwi ko bhi chutti hai
Me - oh i understand....enjoy!!!
🤣☔️

[Joaquim Saldanha @Joasal2]

Message from a friend in Mumbai :

"Due to heavy Rains, I am stuck at home with my wife!!

Please HELP!!
😂☔️

[Joaquim Saldanha @Joasal2]

Getting Work from Home (WFH) because of heavy rains is the adult version of waking up to "school’s closed due to heavy rainfall”….😊☔️

[Joaquim Saldanha @Joasal2]

Years ago I prayed God to send the right woman in my life…he sent me one so right that now I am always wrong…😊💕