Joseph Alzetta

Steel contortionist 🏗, Health and safety Rep.

[Katie Hopkins @KTHopkins]

On behalf of their client, Zara Sultana, Bindmans Media and Information Law Practise Group requires that I publish the following statement on X, and that such statement must be clearly visible and pinned to my
profile for a continuous period of no less than 24 hours:

“On 30 March 2026, I published a post on my X account addressed to Zarah Sultana in which I stated that she encourages and incites violence and is friends with terrorists.

Those statements are false. I was wrong and offer my sincere apologies to Ms Sultana for the harm and distress caused to her.”

It is my very great pleasure to do this, and I reiterate my sincere and repeated offer to meet with Miss Zara Sultana in person to resolve our differences.

[Joseph Alzetta @Joe_Alzetta]

@FPL__Raptor Looks like you’ve done a ligament. Ice, heat elevate and rest

[Joseph Alzetta @Joe_Alzetta]

@FPLGeneral Salah keep or sell? Also how much do you think paqueta made from that red card?

[Joseph Alzetta @Joe_Alzetta]

@JamesBlunt What about the Lidl’s version?

[Joseph Alzetta @Joe_Alzetta]

@Battlefield Is it to late to be peeking? 👀

[Anfield Edition | æ @AnfieldEdition]

🚨| @BILD: Liverpool are "toying" with the idea of attempting to sign both Alexander Isak and Hugo Ekitike, which would cost in the region of £200m.

[Joseph Alzetta @Joe_Alzetta]

@SeanDOlfc Everyone calling you stingy but not offering to pay themselves is hilarious

[Joseph Alzetta @Joe_Alzetta]

@HuttonPlays Head looks gone lately. Not sure if it’s because of the contract negotiation side of it but he doesn’t look himself

[Joseph Alzetta @Joe_Alzetta]

@tomgreat1990 Get him gone

[Squawka @Squawka]

Virgil van Dijk has made more clearances and won more aerial duels than any other player in the Premier League across the opening two gameweeks. 

◉ 30 clearances 
◉ 22 aerial duels contested 
◉ 17 aerial duels won 

A 77.27% aerial duel success rate. 📊

[Joseph Alzetta @Joe_Alzetta]

@snooki It was the prank war champion again @DJPaulyD!

[Joseph Alzetta @Joe_Alzetta]

@AJemaineClement Is there a separate base for MySpace users?

[Joseph Alzetta @Joe_Alzetta]

@ZwebackHD Question is did you walk down the aisle like a pack opening?

[FPL General @FPLGeneral]

I'm hosting a free-to-enter £250 FPL mini-league this season, sponsored by my friends @LazyFPL 🏆

To be eligible for the prize, all you need to do is:

- Retweet this tweet
- Make sure you're subscribed to LazyFPL (link below) #ad
- Join the league (link below)

[Joseph Alzetta @Joe_Alzetta]

@kumailn Damn it Kumail, you'd be a sick Superman

[Joseph Alzetta @Joe_Alzetta]

Take a bow Christian Eriksen #EURo2024

[Arnaud Bertrand @RnaudBertrand]

Whatever your position is, just take a moment to reflect on just how dark this is.

Just hours after the ICJ concluded that Israel was plausibly committing genocide and ordered it to dramatically step up humanitarian efforts, 7 Western countries sanctioned... not Israel but the Palestinians and the UN (!!!).

They cut funding for UNRWA, which is THE UN agency tasked with humanitarian assistance to Palestinians (and therefore their main lifeline).

Even if you were the world's worst cynic, you'd still have a hard time expecting such sheer level of cruelty and depravation. This is absolutely unfathomable.

They did so with the cheapest possible excuse, effectively using Israel's narrative that "UNWRA is Hamas" and allegations by Israel that some UNWRA staff were involved in the 7th Oct attack but 1) Israel has been making these accusations for months (so the timing of cutting funding right after the ICJ ruling is obviously not a coincidence) and 2) UNWRA has announced it's terminated the contracts of the staff members accused (12 people out of its 30,000 strong workforce) and launched an investigation, so it obviously doesn't condone this. Even if the allegations were to be proven correct, how can an organization of 30,000 staff be held collectively accountable for the individual actions of 0.04% of its workforce? Especially in the current context when its work is a life or death matter for millions of people.

To add to the cynicism here, UNWRA staff are actually a major victim of the war with at least 152 UNRWA staffers killed by Israel in Gaza to date. In a normal world, it is Israel that should be punished for killing so many members of a humanitarian organization. But nope, it's the humanitarian organization that's getting punished, alongside with the very vulnerable population it's committed to helping.

[FTBLMEMESHUB @ftblmemeshub]

Robin Van Persie vs Spain

[Joseph Alzetta @Joe_Alzetta]

@wintersboy1 @jayclark0106 What a poster boy