Joey O'Reilly

Don't shoot me, I'm punny

[Joey O'Reilly @Joecamelbak]

The line between reality and The Onion gets thinner and thinner every day

[TORMABLAS PARODYIACKLELALES @Tormny_Pickeals]

Heartwarming! These Cops Just Kneeled In Protest Of The Police Violence They're Going To Do Two Hours From Now

[Dave @lildickytweets]

Retweet if you want a season 2

[Joey O'Reilly @Joecamelbak]

“Science says the more money you give to Disney the happier you’re life will be.”
-Disney

[Joey O'Reilly @Joecamelbak]

I don’t need to dull my mind with drugs when I can just watch dancing with the stars

[Joey O'Reilly @Joecamelbak]

Can we start wearing whistles in support of whistleblowers and general attitude of calling out corruption and misconduct?

[Joey O'Reilly @Joecamelbak]

New vape, can’t wait to try

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Kim Kardashian Tries To Escape L.A. In Rowboat After Realizing Past 12 Years Of Life Have Been TV Show https://t.co/hWlPrEOygd

[Joey O'Reilly @Joecamelbak]

The Nicolas Cage Cinematic Universe

[Joey O'Reilly @Joecamelbak]

Afghanistan asks for explanation after Trump claims the war could be ended at any given time and is not just an endless war for war’s sake

[Joey O'Reilly @Joecamelbak]

Looking at the list of who voted Y/N and I read “Ayes” and thought it was a borat ‘a-yes’ instead of a plural ‘aye’

[Joey O'Reilly @Joecamelbak]

“Thanks, I found this is the garbage!”

[. @swordsjew]

if someone compliments you on a garment do you ever respond with how cheap it is, like thanks it was $20 on sale, or thanks i got it for $5 off a chinese website, or thanks its actually a burial shroud i thrifted, from a coffin

[Joey O'Reilly @Joecamelbak]

Anyone else appreciate that the main selling point of Coors beer is that it’s cold?

[Joey O'Reilly @Joecamelbak]

Started helping out with lake ecology field trips

3rd graders rubbed mud on face like face paint then asked how to clean it off

I joked, “hey dunk your face in the bucket of water over there”

Supervisor goes “don’t listen to Joey, this is his first day....and maybe his last”

[Joey O'Reilly @Joecamelbak]

I’m worried the US will create some sort of executive order that elections can’t happen during war and manufacture reasons for war to keep trump in office permanently

[Joey O'Reilly @Joecamelbak]

@LaurenCohan would also make a good female Joker

[Joey O'Reilly @Joecamelbak]

He’s done it before and he’ll do it again. He sees nothing wrong with it despite it being illegal and a total dick move to begin with

[ABC News @ABC]

EXCLUSIVE: Pres. Trump tells @GStephanopoulos he wouldn't necessarily alert the FBI if approached by foreign figures with information on his 2020 opponent: "It’s not an interference. They have information. I think I’d take it." https://t.co/yWRxMOaFqW

[Joey O'Reilly @Joecamelbak]

The windows random laptop backgrounds have all been lion related lately and I just realized maybe it’s microsoft’s subtle way of noting “pride” month

[Joey O'Reilly @Joecamelbak]

Best part of the new John Wick movie was the fight scene where they just repeatedly kicked each other in the balls

[Joey O'Reilly @Joecamelbak]

Has anyone in history ever proposed via a septum piercing?

[Joey O'Reilly @Joecamelbak]

Having a really embarrassing mixtape already loaded and playing in the car when the mechanic turns the car on