Joe Gordon

[Gianl1974 @Gianl1974]

*BRITISH WRITER PENS THE BEST DESCRIPTION OF TRUMP*
Someone asked "Why do some British people not like Donald Trump?" Nate White, an articulate and witty writer from England wrote the following response:

A few things spring to mind. Trump lacks certain qualities which the British traditionally esteem. For instance, he has no class, no charm, no coolness, no credibility, no compassion, no wit, no warmth, no wisdom, no subtlety, no sensitivity, no self-awareness, no humility, no honour and no grace – all qualities, funnily enough, with which his predecessor Mr. Obama was generously blessed.
So for us, the stark contrast does rather throw Trump's limitations into embarrassingly sharp relief.
Plus, we like a laugh. And while Trump may be laughable, he has never once said anything wry, witty or even faintly amusing – not once, ever.
I don't say that rhetorically, I mean it quite literally: not once, not ever. And that fact is particularly disturbing to the British sensibility – for us, to lack humour is almost inhuman.
But with Trump, it's a fact. He doesn't even seem to understand what a joke is – his idea of a joke is a crass comment, an illiterate insult, a casual act of cruelty. Trump is a troll. And like all trolls, he is never funny and he never laughs; he only crows or jeers.
And scarily, he doesn't just talk in crude, witless insults – he actually thinks in them. His mind is a simple bot-like algorithm of petty prejudices and knee-jerk nastiness. There is never any under-layer of irony, complexity, nuance or depth. It's all surface.
Some Americans might see this as refreshingly upfront. Well, we don't. We see it as having no inner world, no soul. And in Britain we traditionally side with David, not Goliath. All our heroes are plucky underdogs: Robin Hood, Dick Whittington, Oliver Twist. Trump is neither plucky, nor an underdog. He is the exact opposite of that. He's not even a spoiled rich-boy, or a greedy fat-cat. He's more a fat white slug. A Jabba the Hutt of privilege.
And worse, he is that most unforgivable of all things to the British: a bully. That is, except when he is among bullies; then he suddenly transforms into a snivelling sidekick instead.
There are unspoken rules to this stuff – the Queensberry rules of basic decency – and he breaks them all. He punches downwards – which a gentleman should, would, could never do – and every blow he aims is below the belt. He particularly likes to kick the vulnerable or voiceless or female – and he kicks them when they are down. So the fact that a significant minority – perhaps a third – of Americans look at what he does, listen to what he says, and then think 'Yeah, he seems like my kind of guy' is a matter of some confusion and no little distress to British people, given that:
• Americans are supposed to be nicer than us, and most are.
• You don't need a particularly keen eye for detail to spot a few flaws in the man.
This last point is what especially confuses and dismays British people, and many other people too; his faults seem pretty bloody hard to miss.
After all, it's impossible to read a single tweet, or hear him speak a sentence or two, without staring deep into the abyss. He turns being artless into an art form; he is a Picasso of pettiness; a Shakespeare of shit. His faults are fractal: even his flaws have flaws, and so on ad infinitum. God knows there have always been stupid people in the world, and plenty of nasty people too. But rarely has stupidity been so nasty, or nastiness so stupid. He makes Nixon look trustworthy and George W look smart. In fact, if Frankenstein decided to make a monster assembled entirely from human flaws – he would make a Trump.

[Joe Gordon @Joeyflash86]

@SkySportsF1 *The Mercedes car deployed its battery better than the other cars to secure its passenger Mr Russell sprint pole, hence the 2by2 lineup 🥱

[Joe Gordon @Joeyflash86]

2 by 2 could have been down to 14th if Albon and Lawson had participated

Drivers aren’t able to impact the performance of these algorithm driven battery deployment cars (robots)

[Sky Sports F1 @SkySportsF1]

The starting grid for the Canadian Grand Prix Sprint 🔢

[Fabrizio Romano @FabrizioRomano]

💭🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 Dele Alli: "I have a reminder on my phone every single day at eleven o'clock that says: World Cup 2026".

"That's my aim. That's my level", told Sky Sports.

[TNT Sports @tntsports]

Happy birthday to tennis royalty Andy Murray 🎉

This point never ceases to amaze 🤩

[Premier League Match Centre (Parody) @PL_Match_Centre]

#WHUARS - 96”

West Ham have scored, but we can’t risk Spurs going down lads sorry, we’re gunna have to chalk this one off

[Joe Gordon @Joeyflash86]

I’m no accountant but even I know this is scary stuff.

[Kieran Maguire @KieranMaguire]

The biggest concern for Leicester is that they have already cashed in on future instalments from Premier League parachute payments and player sale instalments by selling those sums to MacQuarie bank.

Borrowed a net £85m in the last two seasons, and wage bill of over £100m in the Championship last time they were there.

At end of 2017/18 Leicester had accumulated profits of £25 million, by end of 2024/25 that had turned into an accumulated loss of £375 million.

I'll be chatting to @talkSPORT with @JeffStelling and wee Ally McCoist at 6:30 tomorrow morning about the financial impact of relegation to League One.

[Joe Gordon @Joeyflash86]

@KieranMaguire 😳

[Joe Pompliano @JoePompliano]

And here's a timelapse of @KeeganHall completing the drawing. What an incredible talent

[TheKentSpitfire @TheSpitfire]

This, from Wisden Cricket Monthly, shows why Oxford commas matter.

[Aisha A @landlawlahore]

Maybe the biggest myth in cricket is that T20 cricket is more entertaining than other formats. It's really not. It takes batting elegance & pounds it out of shape. Turns the art of bowling into a humiliation ritual. Rewards brawn over brain. Makes stars out of nobodies. I hate it

[Sussex Cricket @SussexCCC]

Firstly, the sliding stop to save the boundary...

But then, a direct hit from there is OBSCENE! 🤯

[Goater’s Motors @goatersmotors]

Gabriel celebrating in the face of a championship striker after a routine tackle 55 seconds into a game. What a turkey teeth, spray on hairline, weird cunt.

[Southampton FC @SouthamptonFC]

We had too much for an injury-plagued Arsenal �We had too much for an injury-plagued Arsenal 😉

[magnus 🦈 @Magnus2331]

no super clipping
no tyre saving
no artificial overtakes
no battery

just pure trotter to trotter racing

[Plymouth Argyle FC @Argyle]

Bolton at home? ☔️

Any excuse to post The Greatest Goal Of All Time™️

[Nottinghamshire CCC @TrentBridge]

The first wicket of our 2026 campaign 🎯

#SOMvNOT | 📝📺 https://t.co/odtZgMvjZm

[Joe Gordon @Joeyflash86]

Goals that are 60ft wide and no GK 😢

[Autosport @autosport]

"The 2025 Japanese GP was essentially a football match played at Champions League level, but one that ended 0-0. 2026 was a 5-5 goal-fest of overtakes but most of them resulted from easily awarded penalties."

F1 has a decision to make about which fanbase it wants to please most ✍️
https://t.co/oPlnAMVabv

[Autosport @autosport]

"The 2025 Japanese GP was essentially a football match played at Champions League level, but one that ended 0-0. 2026 was a 5-5 goal-fest of overtakes but most of them resulted from easily awarded penalties."

F1 has a decision to make about which fanbase it wants to please most ✍️
https://t.co/oPlnAMVabv