John Currell

We ❤ #Salesforce and #SAP. #Recruiting the best in specialist technologies across #Europe and #USA 20+ yrs experience.

[John Currell @JohnEntApps]

How did the ABAP Developer know he lived in a rough neighbourhood? Everywhere he turned he saw a BADI.. #SAP #ABAP

[John Currell @JohnEntApps]

@adamdnathan Split second decision with tired legs. Watch games. Forget reputations. VdV has been found out this season. Yes he has pace but awful positioning and constantly gets caught. Danso puts himself on the line time after time.

[John Currell @JohnEntApps]

@Jimmy5Priest @sufferingspurs Top 10?! Name me another 9 worse than him?? Top 1

[John Currell @JohnEntApps]

@levynomics1882 Mariah Carey and Michael Buble get defrosted around November ready for Christmas. @levynomics1882 starts defrosting now, a month before everyone's year end accounts come out!

[John Currell @JohnEntApps]

@a7med_ezzat3 @MikeyHotspurs Get who? Take your pick of any premier league or championship keeper and it'll be an upgrade.

[John Currell @JohnEntApps]

@ROTS1882 @levynomics1882 all day long

[John Currell @JohnEntApps]

@FreddieNx @rupertmiller Relegation scrap royalty! (Sense the tongue in cheek)

[John Currell @JohnEntApps]

@FreddieNx @rupertmiller BIG SAM

[John Currell @JohnEntApps]

@THFCanna My son won the black away shirt this season with a name and number of his choice! Worth applying

[John Currell @JohnEntApps]

@Hopeforharley @martinflack @madders @Kennedyalexa @SpursOfficial I've got tickets in the south stand, right behind the goal (row 4) I'd happily give up for Harley and his dad to go to. I'll follow you now, follow me back and message me

[John Currell @JohnEntApps]

@filmillers @Billie_T Thats been happening for months. They don't care.

[John Currell @JohnEntApps]

@oJaayCo He's a good looking lad isnt he....

[John Currell @JohnEntApps]

@Thfc_RR It's Rafa Van Der Vaart, his winning mentality transformed the whole team and we started beating the top teams again.

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

UK is Prison Island

[John Currell @JohnEntApps]

@ZeeOne85 @tutt_gary @RootsSpurs Look at the stats. He loses possession more than anyone else in the league (fact). These are more often than not simple 5yd passes. Yet people talk about his passing ability like he's Hoddle.

https://t.co/mLUr1Jb3RZ

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[John Currell @JohnEntApps]

@johnrhueston @sufferingspurs When the next closest players to him are the centre mids camped on our own box, and richarlison who cannot hold up a ball to save his life, its going to affect a player like kudus.

[John Currell @JohnEntApps]

@PriceyYID @MichaelBridge_ Straight down the tunnel sulking at full time

[John Currell @JohnEntApps]

@SebOnFootball Don't forget to add he was straight down the tunnel sulking as soon as the ref blew, whilst the rest of the team clapped the fans