John Fantaske

[OMGFactsSex @OMGFactsSex]

I put my iPod on shuffle, but end up skipping all the way to the song I knew I wanted to hear in the first place.

[John Fantaske @JohnFantaske]

"@TheMindBlowing: There's a real LEGO bridge in Germany: http://t.co/lNVUh3KtiN" @bigsexymatt

[Shit Liquor Says™ @ShitLiquorSays]

What doesn't kill me makes my drinks stronger

[John Fantaske @JohnFantaske]

"@TheFunnyTeens: Saying "dude." before you say something important." @CarlyNadeo

[John Fantaske @JohnFantaske]

Wish I had friends #lameasstweet

[Funny Pokemon @FunnyPokemon]

If Pokemon were real...

[know @Know]

Ignorant people are more likely to believe they are brilliant, while intelligent people are more likely to underestimate themselves.

[John Fantaske @JohnFantaske]

@CarlyNadeo "...idk but I'm kinda scared lol." #shitmywifesays #naturalcommedian

[John Fantaske @JohnFantaske]

@CarlyNadeo does she honestly have nothing better to do with her time other than make videos for YouTube? #sweetcontributiontosociety #lame

[John Fantaske @JohnFantaske]

"@CauseWereFellas: they’re called “eyebrows” cuz my eyes be browsin yo fine ass" @CarlyNadeo

[John Fantaske @JohnFantaske]

"@LoyalStatement: Texting someone while your half asleep then reading your text in the morning and realizing you made no sense" @CarlyNadeo

[John Fantaske @JohnFantaske]

"@ratchetortruth: things i don't feel like doing http://t.co/oaFQNZrY2x" @bigsexymatt

[Mamas Uncut @MamasUncutQA]

Short women are more feminine than tall women b/c of high estrogen levels, causing men to biologically find them more attractive.

[John Fantaske @JohnFantaske]

"@UberFacts: Your earlobes line up with your nipples." Not so much mine anymore