John Howard

[John Howard @JohnHowardPM]

Speaking of Janette: that ironing/washing/cleaning/etc isn't going to do itself. Because if it did, your use would be expended.

[John Howard @JohnHowardPM]

You might be wondering why fearless leader is up at 4am. Short answer: masturbating. Don't tell Janette, please? I'll give you handouts!

[John Howard @JohnHowardPM]

18 followers? Eh, it's better than the Liberal result in the seat of Bennelong I guess. Ingrates.

[John Howard @JohnHowardPM]

Mister Speaker - my question goes to the Prime Minister. Can I have my old job back? @KevinRuddPM

[John Howard @JohnHowardPM]

Parliament resumes tomorrow, motherfuckers. Can't wait to compare my number of gays bashed to Tuckey's.

[John Howard @JohnHowardPM]

I slept with the President of the United States and all I got was a lousy war.

[John Howard @JohnHowardPM]

It's time to rock out with your cock out, Australia.

[John Howard @JohnHowardPM]

Charlie, contrary to popular belief, is not in the trees.

[John Howard @JohnHowardPM]

My Government was... Legen - and I hope you're not lactose intolerant, because the next word is DARY. Seriously, though.

[John Howard @JohnHowardPM]

I'm back, motherfuckers. What did I miss?

[John Howard @JohnHowardPM]

When did I stop being PM?

[John Howard @JohnHowardPM]

@JoetheHockey remember the good old days?

[John Howard @JohnHowardPM]

Who is this Peter Costello that everybody keeps talking about? Former PM he ain't.

[John Howard @JohnHowardPM]

Fucking Liberals. Screwing things up. It's time for me to take over, once more: John Howard, Federal Member for Bradfield!

[John Howard @JohnHowardPM]

Where is my love, Clinton? That hurts my feelings.

[John Howard @JohnHowardPM]

@JoetheHockey my scandals were always sexy. there's nothing more arousing than children being thrown overboard!

[John Howard @JohnHowardPM]

peter who?

[John Howard @JohnHowardPM]

Also, I whip it out whenever I can-- for George W.

[John Howard @JohnHowardPM]

There are no homosexuals in Australia.

[John Howard @JohnHowardPM]

@KevinRuddPM don't even get me started on this "man." Walking around like he runs the place!