John Jaques

Gentleman amateur joke writer & cartoonist. Professional buffoon.

hmm I'm good-bad but I'm not evil

[John Jaques @JohnJaques]

https://t.co/ED6D2JPSk8 This is my collection of short stories. Trigger warning for bad things and terrible usage of commas.

[John Jaques @JohnJaques]

I just listed my book on https://t.co/aQIwW0bFNs 🚀 Discover indie books without algorithms. https://t.co/I5xOhoGl8c

[John Jaques @JohnJaques]

May the fifth be with you...

...oh.

[John Jaques @JohnJaques]

Funeral music choice made. Atmosphere by Joy Division on the way in, Atmosphere by Russ Abbot to exit.

[John Jaques @JohnJaques]

About 6 years ago I made this stupid 'graphic novel'. I put it on Amazon to buy for £1.99. Today I received an email from Amazon informing me that my royalties were being paid. 70p! Not bad for only one sale....

....Reader, I bought that copy.

https://t.co/phepdoCPmF

[John Jaques @JohnJaques]

I will be whispering into the abyss on https://t.co/HyvfQpgkAi

[John Jaques @JohnJaques]

@archivetvmus71 Not surprised the cricket didn't work out with that bowling action.

[John Jaques @JohnJaques]

@tomgauld @GuardianBooks The Batman is often unable to focus, whether it be a good book or a bad (cat) woman.

[John Jaques @JohnJaques]

@TheLincoln Strong agree. Though I still haven't got past the first line in Proust yet...

[John Jaques @JohnJaques]

There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who scrunch the cereal bag up and carefully close the cardboard flaps. And then there's the monsters, the absolute monsters.

[John Jaques @JohnJaques]

@Bob_Fischer The whole band were great...Full autograph set on the Miaow album.

[John Jaques @JohnJaques]

@NoContextBrits

[John Jaques @JohnJaques]

Drinking slightly over Malbec paired with hula hoops and some cheese, listening to 6 music's indie for ever and re-reading Douglas Coupland's Generation X. This is one of the best nights of my life.

[John Jaques @JohnJaques]

Watching The Colditz Story on Film 4...What a cast. So many familiar faces but I'm afraid most of their names escape me.

[John Jaques @JohnJaques]

@Northern_Soul_ My favourite barber shop pun...Barber of Neville on Neville street Durham.

[John Jaques @JohnJaques]

@Bob_Fischer My neck of the woods. Did you get to Newchurch?

[John Jaques @JohnJaques]

Last night I dreamt I was in a cafe, completely naked and I ordered a baked potato, which is strange as I would very rarely order a baked potato.

[John Jaques @JohnJaques]

@jed_cope Really liked some of the lines in this. "A headache of a man"

[John Jaques @JohnJaques]

@becimay

[John Jaques @JohnJaques]

@Wordsworthians @GuardianBooks Keats really captured what Autumn means to all of us.