John Josemos

Like Charlie Sheen, I'm just trying to stay positive. I try and be nice and helpful to everyone. Please let me know if my advice has helped you too!

[John Josemos @JohnJosemos]

https://t.co/Sce8cyuJYT

[John Josemos @JohnJosemos]

@CelsiusNetwork Can I get some time alone with your portfolio manager?

[John Josemos @JohnJosemos]

@AwfulTomislav @VanessaWCheese my path was blocked and I needed advice

[John Josemos @JohnJosemos]

You wake up in the middle of the night and you see @VanessaWCheese blocking your path.... What do?

[John Josemos @JohnJosemos]

...But what do?

[John Josemos @JohnJosemos]

@EZPZisback I'd blame the Jews for this. I can't think of a single time in history that didn't work out...

[John Josemos @JohnJosemos]

The face of an angle @VanessaWCheese

[John Josemos @JohnJosemos]

@VanessaWCheese I snek u

[broken animals @broken_animals]

Python is stuck in an infinite loop.

[KEEM 🍿 @KEEMSTAR]

I can’t breathe! 😂😂😂

[John Josemos @JohnJosemos]

@Pinelyy @JustinWhang Sorta. Bought the pattent for a toxoplasmosis drug (one of the diseases that happen when someone gets the HIVy) and jacked up the price to fund r & d for more exotic diseases. Rather than jack it up gradually like shareholders wabted he did it all at once.

[John Josemos @JohnJosemos]

Surely this will put an end to the non stop string of disappointment that Star Wars has been crapping out non stop...

[Dataracer @Dataracer117]

This is who Disney hired to write the new "all female" Star Wars series.

[CSD @csd_1013]

If you think about it, #harambe showed us what happens when you don’t properly social distance.

[John Josemos @JohnJosemos]

@HonestMatt1 @gabriel_gabdiel @bob_weasley @cenkpesos

[John Josemos @JohnJosemos]

@EgrisLghtnnghwk My panties are so wet right now I could drown a toddler in them

[John Josemos @JohnJosemos]

@ojjjuj @wauterboi I second this. Just looking at it made my credit scor go down

[John Josemos @JohnJosemos]

@catlinyaa @EZPZisback agreed. If you ever want a good laugh visit /r/keto. Those guys take keto to 11 but are also dumb enough to post their stats of weight and height. It's as funny as you think it is especially when a 200lb 5"4 girl starts trying to talk down to people about how carbs are evil.

[John Josemos @JohnJosemos]

@catlinyaa @EZPZisback Keto works but it's not for everyone. Some people it just clicks with, some it doesn't. Miles Chong reminds me of those people who starts Keto, drops the 1st 10lbs of water weight from a 3day fast to get in ketosis, then act smug and accomplished, then giving up by next month.

[John Josemos @JohnJosemos]

@ojjjuj Well as long as saying "chinken pox" isn't racist