Funkpimp72

Creator of Jamie Oliver Parody... Exiled Northerner in London. Writes for fun and laffs. Unhealthy obsession with nuns.

[Funkpimp72 @JohnMcCaff1972]

Alexa, Can you show me your disdain for mankind with a piercing shrill of hate loud enough to break time, shapes and sounds?

[Funkpimp72 @JohnMcCaff1972]

Last week at work I said in a satisfied manner 'BANANARAMA' after I finished hanging quite a tricky wallpaper.

#AccidentalPartridge

[Funkpimp72 @JohnMcCaff1972]

I'm still plotting my revenge on a french lady who to be honest was only slightly disrespectful to me about 18 years ago.

but John NEVER forgets.

I'm coming for you Anaïs, you F*****g French F**k.

#revenge

[Funkpimp72 @JohnMcCaff1972]

@FulhamFC I've got work at 6am.. please finish!

[Funkpimp72 @JohnMcCaff1972]

@SoozUK DIEGO GAZZA

[Funkpimp72 @JohnMcCaff1972]

@fesshole Maybe she's just visiting someone to talk about the econonic impact of Brexit.. for exactly an hour.

[Funkpimp72 @JohnMcCaff1972]

@PicturesFoIder 8?

[Funkpimp72 @JohnMcCaff1972]

@BBCNews Is that Hilary Clinton doing Karaoke ??

[Funkpimp72 @JohnMcCaff1972]

@grantkirkhope Ah, nogging.. I read that as dogging.

Anyway, how is the dogging mate ??

[Funkpimp72 @JohnMcCaff1972]

@AidanMcComedy @DaftLimmy It makes for a smoother 'glide'.

[Funkpimp72 @JohnMcCaff1972]

@AidanMcComedy @DaftLimmy My pants are around my ankles and I've a palm full of Flora Light at the ready.

[Funkpimp72 @JohnMcCaff1972]

@fabulucy Yeah sorry about that.. the window wouldn't open!

[Funkpimp72 @JohnMcCaff1972]

@anon_opin My favourite album by Guns n Roses is Van Halen 1.

[Funkpimp72 @JohnMcCaff1972]

@TonmeisterJones Discarded Metallica lyrics ??

[Funkpimp72 @JohnMcCaff1972]

@Rubberbandits Also when did taking selfies from impossible angles become a thing?

[Funkpimp72 @JohnMcCaff1972]

@SianFehres_ @ThomasCairney @FulhamFC What a day !

[Funkpimp72 @JohnMcCaff1972]

@stavrosmcginty I'll shout that at my boner, thank you toots x

[Funkpimp72 @JohnMcCaff1972]

@FootballRamble First Ground: Bootham Crescent
Last Ground: London Stadium
Best Ground: Vicente Calderon
Worst Ground: Loftus Road

[Funkpimp72 @JohnMcCaff1972]

@stavrosmcginty I thought you loved me?

[Funkpimp72 @JohnMcCaff1972]

@KebAbbas @fesshole Hahaha !

Well Mitro is 2nd choice.

1st is Ursula Corbero. She will be my wife.

[Funkpimp72 @JohnMcCaff1972]

I turned 50 recently so I've wrote a nice poem..

When you're 20, there's plenty.
When you're 30, you're flirty.
When you're 40, you're naughty.
When you're 50, you're dead. You might as well be f*****g dead. It's over. You’re life is f*****g meaningless.

#50andfabulous #Death