John E. Moates

Livin' the dream. #GoDawgs!

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

I left Alabama. I am in Georgia now.

At 3 a.m. I saw a yellow sign glowing beside the highway.

Waffle House.

I went in. The parking lot was full. At 3 a.m.

I asked the waitress when they close.

She looked at me the way you look at a child who has asked when gravity ends.

She said, "We don't close, baby."

Two things happened in that sentence.

One: I learned Waffle House has never closed. Not at night. Not on Christmas. Not during hurricanes.

Two: she called me "baby."

I am a grown man. I have a mortgage. It repaired something in me I did not know was broken.

I ordered hash browns.

She said, "Scattered, smothered, covered, chunked, diced, peppered, capped, or topped?"

I did not understand a single word in that sentence.

I said, "Yes."

She nodded and wrote it down. Apparently that was a correct answer.

Then I learned something, and I need you to know I did not invent this.

The United States government measures the strength of hurricanes by whether the Waffle House is open.

Open: the storm is fine.

Limited menu: the storm is serious.

Closed: evacuate. It is over.

This is called the Waffle House Index. FEMA uses it. FEMA. The disaster agency.

Japan built earthquake satellites. America watches a diner.

Both systems work.

At 3 a.m., the Waffle House contained: two truck drivers. A nurse still in scrubs. Four teenagers in prom clothes. One man who had clearly made several mistakes that evening. And one Japanese man with a notebook.

Nobody asked anybody why they were there.

At Waffle House, being there is the answer.

Then a man at the counter noticed my Alabama shirt. It was a gift. Long story.

He did not speak. He pointed at the shirt and shook his head slowly, the way you correct someone in church.

Then he said, quietly: "Go Dawgs."

I panicked and used the only word I own.

"Roll Tide."

Every fork in the building stopped.

The cook looked up from the eggs.

The waitress said, "Baby, no."

I understand now. Every state here has its own word. My word is from one state ago.

The man bought my waffle anyway.

He said, and I am quoting him exactly: "You didn't know. Bless your heart."

I have been told that phrase has two meanings.

I believe I received the gentle one.

I believe.

[John E. Moates @JohnMoates]

@wesj_42 @DawgStats I’m definitely not trying to compare him to Kirby.

[John E. Moates @JohnMoates]

@DawgStats Well, he’s won 72% of his games and made two tournament appearances. He could fall off the planet, no doubt, but the results are quite improved when compared to the end of Stricklin’s tenure.

[John E. Moates @JohnMoates]

Amazing for Indiana. Incredible.

[John E. Moates @JohnMoates]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[John E. Moates @JohnMoates]

@Ike_Saul That time will pass! But then you’ll have another child and that time will return. Haha. Enjoy fatherhood!

[John E. Moates @JohnMoates]

This might be Kirby’s best coaching job of his career. Bobo has really done a great job this season. Schumann has done an exceptional job molding this defense as the season went on.

Lastly, how can Kirk push such a strong narrative while the committee watches?

[John E. Moates @JohnMoates]

@Ludakit I thought so in real time but felt it was a no-call on review.

[Benjamin Watson @BenjaminSWatson]

To: Every High School (and College) Football player that is chasing greatness. Join the family.

From:

[John E. Moates @JohnMoates]

@Ludakit It won’t happen since she’ll become a private citizen, but I’d love the opportunity to continue to see how her portfolio performs once she’s out of politics.

[John E. Moates @JohnMoates]

@Ludakit ITS A CALMING EXPERIENCE

[John E. Moates @JohnMoates]

@HunterJHudson You misunderstood. I watch the games simply to see reviews. The game is irrelevant.

[John E. Moates @JohnMoates]

The review time has exceeded game time.

[John E. Moates @JohnMoates]

A SACK?!?! NO WAY

[John E. Moates @JohnMoates]

This might be the most unprepared I’ve ever seen under Kirby.

[John E. Moates @JohnMoates]

@DawgStats @dawgsports What about giving it to the giant RB that threw two Bama defenders to the ground earlier? Maybe he could get a few inches?

[John E. Moates @JohnMoates]

@Ludakit The beauty of college football is that 99.9999% of people would have been mad at the play call on 4th down if it didn’t work.

[John E. Moates @JohnMoates]

@HunterJHudson