John Purdum

[John Purdum @JohnPurdum]

@doctorow Give it about 15 minutes and you'll feel like an underachiever...

[John Purdum @JohnPurdum]

@pattonoswalt I think the only thing worse is short people...

[John Purdum @JohnPurdum]

@ReformedBroker After a 15 year hiatus, Alyssa Milano just made it back into the spank bank. Possibly a hall-of-famer...

[John Purdum @JohnPurdum]

@Sbmart0 national adult diaper longevity championship.

[John Purdum @JohnPurdum]

@Dvolatility Intentionally I'm sure...

[John Purdum @JohnPurdum]

@KeithMcCullough @zerohedge I think you mean Jacques Sneefaire...

[John Purdum @JohnPurdum]

@bobsaget I know a blind thumb-less couple this happened to...

[John Purdum @JohnPurdum]

@SarahKSilverman The ol' persistent prick...

[John Purdum @JohnPurdum]

@herbgreenberg An eventual aberration...

[John Purdum @JohnPurdum]

@TheStalwart He had a good idea 21 years ago...

[John Purdum @JohnPurdum]

@bobsaget John Nash goes to the grocery...

[John Purdum @JohnPurdum]

@IvankaTrump when you get married retention drops to about 5%...

[John Purdum @JohnPurdum]

@ReformedBroker And for those of you counting calories... I pay a lot less for mine than you do for yours...

[John Purdum @JohnPurdum]

@ReformedBroker Go to Qdoba and get one the size of an earth-mover for 6.99! You actually sit on it while you eat it...

[John Purdum @JohnPurdum]

@GCGodfrey I think you just solved the riddle of dark matter...

[John Purdum @JohnPurdum]

@Sbmart0 you need to come out of retirement... Don't u miss "Next on stage... Put your hands together for JADE BEADS!!!" I'll bring bills