John Baines

You get what you got!!!

[Fake Showbiz News @FakeShowbizNews]

Government announces major crackdown on people using printers at work to print off boarding passes for their holiday.

“This is costing British businesses thousands,” thundered Rishi Sunak

[John Baines @Johnarchpd]

If anyone’s got any of the decent cling film left, drop me a DM, will pay top whack!! 👀 #clingfilm

[Fake Showbiz News @FakeShowbizNews]

Adele says hold on to your funeral playlists - she’s just written a maudlin ballad called ‘Because You Were Loved’ that every cunt’s going to want played during their final send-off!

[Fake Showbiz News @FakeShowbizNews]

Adele applies to have blue lights and sirens attached to her car so that if she has a good song idea she can race through traffic to lay down a rough demo at home

[LADbible @ladbible]

Might be a bit too soon for that little man! Wait for the end 😂😂

[No Context Brits @NoContextBrits]

Throwback to the time the BBC asked Rage Against The Machine not to swear during a live broadcast.

[CuriousBritishTelly @CuriousUkTelly]

Patrick Swayze to the theme from Only Fools and Horses

[Sir Michael @Michael1979]

Had a lovely chat on Facebook today about my grandad's final days 👍 ✉️

[Fake Showbiz News @FakeShowbizNews]

EXCLUSIVE: Jimmy Nail reveals he’s spent his life living in fear of a stranger punching him just so they could tell pals they’d “hit the Nail on the head”

[Salisbury Journal @journalupdate]

Here's your afternoon news thread, in case you missed any of these top stories👇

1) A #Salisbury builder has been given a suspended jail sentence and was ordered to pay compensation of £4k after being prosecuted over substandard work.

https://t.co/pQudVbmO1p

[John Baines @Johnarchpd]

Does the vaccine still work if you don’t post a picture of your card!?

[Fake Showbiz News @FakeShowbizNews]

Idris Elba arrested on suspicion of shoulder-barging a coin pusher machine in Margate in 1998

[Downton FC @DowntonFC]

We are delighted to have Arch Property & Developments Ltd back on board as a club sponsor 🔴⚪️

[Chabuddy G @CHABUDDYGEEZY]

Banter m8