Sir John Chilcot

Easily distracted. Writing a big report. CLEARLY A PARODY

[Sir John Chilcot @JohnnyChilcot]

It's good to be busy, and currently I'm working on Boris Johnson's exit plan

[Sir John Chilcot @JohnnyChilcot]

An inquiry you say? I can have it finished on Jan 24 2023

[The Independent @Independent]

Boris Johnson orders ethics inquiry into Rishi Sunak 🚨 https://t.co/AMwdegQn6R

[Sir John Chilcot @JohnnyChilcot]

Hi @SueGrayCO, let me know if you need any tips

[Sir John Chilcot @JohnnyChilcot]

If anyone knows Sue Gray, please pass on my details as I have lots of hints and tips for her

[Sir John Chilcot @JohnnyChilcot]

I'd like to offer my services to run an inquiry into the parties in Downing Street last year & can assure everyone I didn't participate in any proscribed festivities. I was supposed to arrange the Annual Inquiry Crew Xmas bash, but never quite got round to it, so I'm clean

[Sir John Chilcot @JohnnyChilcot]

Good luck to everyone taking their A Level exams

[Sir John Chilcot @JohnnyChilcot]

Right then, let's get started with this pandemic response plan

[Sir John Chilcot @JohnnyChilcot]

@mantonn @henrymance I'll be getting round to it soon

[Sir John Chilcot @JohnnyChilcot]

Hey @BorisJohnson

[Laura Kuenssberg @bbclaurak]

PM confirms independent public inquiry, with legal powers, into how the govt handled coronavirus, to start spring 2022

[Sir John Chilcot @JohnnyChilcot]

@rinseandspin @BorisJohnson You can't rush these things, Andy

[Sir John Chilcot @JohnnyChilcot]

Dear @BorisJohnson, I'm available to lead an Inquiry into the UK government Covid-response at a very reasonable rate

[Sir John Chilcot @JohnnyChilcot]

Have I left it too late to get Mrs. Chilcott a Christmas present? Do you think the 24 hour garage will have something?

[Sir John Chilcot @JohnnyChilcot]

Wish someone had told me just not bothering to do the report was an option, would have saved me a lot of bother. Well played @DavidDavisMP

[Sir John Chilcot @JohnnyChilcot]

Now @DavidDavisMP, about those 58 Brexit Impact Studies I said I'd done for you? Were they urgent?

[Sir John Chilcot @JohnnyChilcot]

We can delay no more, I agree we need to tackle the menace of the Bolsheviks (as soon as we have completed a thorough investigation) https://t.co/jRtVk77DgO

[Andrew Rosindell MP 🇬🇧🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 @AndrewRosindell]

I've sponsored an EDM condemning Communism for the murderous ideology that it is, on this 100 years since the Bolshevik Revolution.

[Sir John Chilcot @JohnnyChilcot]

Now @DavidDavisMP, about those 58 Brexit Impact Studies I said I'd done for you? Were they urgent?

[Sir John Chilcot @JohnnyChilcot]

Just registered to vote in the General Election

[Sir John Chilcot @JohnnyChilcot]

Contemplating a job offer making Southern Rail services run in a more punctual and efficient manner

[Sir John Chilcot @JohnnyChilcot]

From everyone involved in the Iraq Inquiry we'd like to take this opportunity to wish you a very happy and safe fireworks night

[Sir John Chilcot @JohnnyChilcot]

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE WOOOOO SCARY STUFF