John Selzer

Femtoinfluencer. Purveyor of sarcasm and wit. Founder of I once blogged at

[John Selzer @JohnnyKirsch]

@lizkline Random unsolicited inbound email seems to be off its game.

My recent favorite:

“Hi there,       

Hope you are doing well.       

We are a Mobile App Development company?”

I suspect they weren’t really reaching out to confirm their core service.

[John Selzer @JohnnyKirsch]

Johnston will get cake and Ice cream at the Pavelski house tonight. @DallasStars #TexasHockey

[John Selzer @JohnnyKirsch]

@compulsivestart

[John Selzer @JohnnyKirsch]

50% of being a husband and father today was simply saying, "Google it."

[John Selzer @JohnnyKirsch]

Thunder sleet: Texas weather phenomenon. But also, a kind of awesome name for a heavy metal band.

[John Selzer @JohnnyKirsch]

Today’s the day... #CFPNationalChampionship #GoFrogs

[John Selzer @JohnnyKirsch]

As a gesture of goodwill (and nod to beautiful design), @apple should offer a Dark Sky setting within Weather. #RIPDarkSky

[John Selzer @JohnnyKirsch]

RIP Dark Sky. You will be missed.

[John Selzer @JohnnyKirsch]

Shout out to all the parents building Christmas presents after their kids have gone to bed.

[John Selzer @JohnnyKirsch]

@stephenolmon You picked the wrong one from hockey, though. Hands down, the Golden Knights is the worst mascot. That might even slightly edge the Pelicans as the worst overall.

[John Selzer @JohnnyKirsch]

I suspect the ‘how you squeeze toothpaste’ debate is similar to over-the-roll (correct) versus under or crunchy (also correct) versus creamy.

[John Selzer @JohnnyKirsch]

When you are thirsty and drink water in a dream, it does not help irl.

[John Selzer @JohnnyKirsch]

@michaelsorrell

[John Selzer @JohnnyKirsch]

@stephenolmon

[John Selzer @JohnnyKirsch]

If your inbox isn’t flooded with extended Black Friday offers and Cyber Monday deals are you even alive?

[John Selzer @JohnnyKirsch]

@stephenolmon We have always sung the opening as “Pennsylvania! A Boboli with sauce…”

[John Selzer @JohnnyKirsch]

Uncharacteristically, Texas weather decided to pick a lane and commit to a temp all day.

But it is Texas, so here… have some rain b/c you can’t have nice things.

[John Selzer @JohnnyKirsch]

✅Good deed for the day.

Received an email that looked like well-executed spam. A second look + quick google search revealed it was a legit follow up between recruiter and job seeker - but sent to the wrong email (mine).

Pinged the recruiter to correct. I hope he gets the job.

[John Selzer @JohnnyKirsch]

As I am sure you have heard, I did not win the Powerball. And as as luck would have it given the similar odds, I was not killed by a vending machine.

[John Selzer @JohnnyKirsch]

When you get a hattie and don’t even make the first star, you know Robo is the real deal. #GoStars #TexasHockey