Daddy DeVito

Just taking my sweet ass time ⏲

[corblund @CorbLund]

It happened again. It keeps happening. #truckgotstuck

[Daddy DeVito @JohnnyRompain]

It's the birthday. We celebrating the yew.

[Republican Calendar @sansculotides]

Today is octidi 18 Pluviôse in the year of the Republic CCXXXI, celebrating the yew.

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Dreary, Passionless Couple Believes Your Soulmate Out There Too https://t.co/R5UmE0Ks00

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Mr. Autumn Man Walking Down Street With Cup Of Coffee, Wearing Sweater Over Plaid Collared Shirt https://t.co/2MK7pghAmF

[woahh mann @ashhhhhhole]

gm

[gigi @420insidejob]

i would do absolutely anything for my friends except answer their text messages

[Daddy DeVito @JohnnyRompain]

"Success isn't about skills; it's about being cool."
-Lumpy Space Princess

[Daddy DeVito @JohnnyRompain]

There's nothing more humiliating than sitting in the backseat of someone's car with child-locks, and having to wait for them to open your door for you like a common criminal.

[Daddy DeVito @JohnnyRompain]

For sale

Baby sheep

Never shorn

[Daddy DeVito @JohnnyRompain]

Noheda

[Dr Simon Trafford @TraffTweets]

For #MosaicMonday

Detail of the severed heads from the mosaic of the plot of Pelops and Hippodamia. Found in the triclinium of the late Roman villa at Noheda, Spain.
#Roman #Spain #mosaic

https://t.co/hRViZBgs4S

[Daddy DeVito @JohnnyRompain]

@missdkrr You get it. That's why all of my clothes come from Forever 21, because I am, in fact, Forever 21.

[Daddy DeVito @JohnnyRompain]

The best part about being 25+ is that whenever you meet someone who's the same age as you, you both think that the other person is way older. And you're both quietly offended that they thought you were older than them.

[Daddy DeVito @JohnnyRompain]

@b_desjarlais Snap back to reality. Insta-ntly

[Daddy DeVito @JohnnyRompain]

If you view my story, we're dating now...

[Daddy DeVito @JohnnyRompain]

Unlike the girls R. Kelly is into...

[Daddy DeVito @JohnnyRompain]

Like a fine wine, some tweets get better with age.

[Daddy DeVito @JohnnyRompain]

R. Kelly brand urinal cakes.

[Daddy DeVito @JohnnyRompain]

Like a fine wine, some tweets get better with age.

[Daddy DeVito @JohnnyRompain]

The word "pamphlet" implies the existence of a much larger "pamph".