Brett Johnsen

Former baby, future old man

[Brett Johnsen @JohnsenBrett]

Be so funny everyone forgets you're ugly

[Jeff Duffy @jeffdduffy]

Congrats #hurontigers ESD all conference football...Conner Johnsen O-line, CJ Gainey Def Back...

[Jeff Duffy @jeffdduffy]

1st National Bank Player of the Game Conner Johnsen #hurontigers

[Brett Johnsen @JohnsenBrett]

So my parent didn’t get me an Easter basket this year. Does anyone know of any not good nursing homes?

[Brett Johnsen @JohnsenBrett]

If you don’t put on a full performance to music while road tripping then I don’t want it

[Brett Johnsen @JohnsenBrett]

@joshkrech I don’t think your buddy would be too “delighted” about that

[Brett Johnsen @JohnsenBrett]

Someone in the USA right now is having their last night with all 10 fingers and they don’t even know it yet

[Minnesota Football @GopherFootball]

That’s #Gophers alum @schoenyb with a KO 20 seconds into his #MMA debut tonight in South Dakota 🥊 💪
(🎥 @KoKieft)

[Brett Johnsen @JohnsenBrett]

@chuy070 To meet all your friends

[Brett Johnsen @JohnsenBrett]

Yoda says words out of order because his English class was too early and he never went. “Very early, it is” he would say #MayThe4thBeWithYou

[Brett Johnsen @JohnsenBrett]

@joshkrech You Josh. Are a genius

[Brett Johnsen @JohnsenBrett]

My girlfriend opened up a jar of pickles by herself today and I am now nonessential

[Brett Johnsen @JohnsenBrett]

A Covid test nurse asked if I’ve had a sudden loss of taste. I told her, “No, I’ve dressed like this for quite a while

[Miller Lite @MillerLite]

March is a weird month. In a matter of weeks you go from cooling your beer in a pile of snow to drinking it in shorts.

[Brett Johnsen @JohnsenBrett]

Me: Alexa, will you be my Valentine?
Alexa, robotically: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I think we would be better as friends

[Brett Johnsen @JohnsenBrett]

I think tomorrow I might stop procrastinating everything in my life

[Brett Johnsen @JohnsenBrett]

No one today asked how fast I could run in my new shoes. Being an adult is stupid

[Brett Johnsen @JohnsenBrett]

I never remember New Years Parties. They always go in one year and out the other

[Brett Johnsen @JohnsenBrett]

An interrogation but instead of cops it’s a bunch of people asking what you are doing with your life and when you are going to get married. Oh wait, that’s Christmas

[Brett Johnsen @JohnsenBrett]

Darn, I think I misplaced my “Gone in 60 seconds DVD. It was here a minute ago.