Alex Taubin

Jokes. Yall.

[Alex Taubin @Jokes_Yall]

The inside of a Febreeze bottle must be fucking windy.

[Alex Taubin @Jokes_Yall]

I get that Bingo was his name but how the fuck do you spell it.

[Alex Taubin @Jokes_Yall]

I'm sitting in class and just got hit by the flubber from Flubber

[Alex Taubin @Jokes_Yall]

Something messed up about immediately peeling off the char on my pablano. Why did I light it on fire. I don't have health insurance.

[Alex Taubin @Jokes_Yall]

No buts, no cuts, yes to coconuts

[Alex Taubin @Jokes_Yall]

When a magicians grandma says to wash behind your ears its probably cuz there's a bunch of shit back there

[Alex Taubin @Jokes_Yall]

Got struck by lightning from the vegetable aisle storm

[Alex Taubin @Jokes_Yall]

Pretending you're reading off your phone when ordering a lot of food so they don't think it's all for you is something a skinny person will never experience.

[Alex Taubin @Jokes_Yall]

balls sonic vinegar

[Alex Taubin @Jokes_Yall]

I've been eating hard shell tacos in bed lately to test a new "is it tastier with danger" theory

[Alex Taubin @Jokes_Yall]

These plastic spoons being sharp on the sides got me looking like The Joker everytime I eat soup.

[Alex Taubin @Jokes_Yall]

No one prepares you for how cold the air is when your nose finally unclogs.

[Alex Taubin @Jokes_Yall]

I'm on another kind of naughty list 😏 (jail)

[Alex Taubin @Jokes_Yall]

Pasta might be one of the best words I've ever heard. I want to eat pasta.

[Alex Taubin @Jokes_Yall]

Finally my game "Microwave a Fish" can be appreciated.

[Dexerto @Dexerto]

Sony is working on allowing PlayStation players to smell in-game scents in real life

[Alex Taubin @Jokes_Yall]

Everybody was kung foo fighting?? That's too many people kung foo fighting. Someone's gotta not be kung foo fighting.

[Alex Taubin @Jokes_Yall]

Some guy probably brings up that he went to school with the guy who plays the Geico caveman everytime.

[Alex Taubin @Jokes_Yall]

If you give a man a pickle he eats for the day. If you teach a man to pickle, he eats... later in the day

[Alex Taubin @Jokes_Yall]

Gen z is always saying "wait" before stuff. "Wait, I love that" or "Wait, that's so cute". I'm gonna start doing the opposite. "Resume, that shirt stinks"

[Alex Taubin @Jokes_Yall]

Wayne Gretzky warning me about my diet: "you eat 100% of the chicken nuggets you put in your mouth"

[Alex Taubin @Jokes_Yall]

The Power Rangers just quartered themselves in my home. They said the 3rd amendment "doesn't apply" because there's a "giant rhinoceros at foot"???