Jonathan Craig

Comedian/Writer/Sinner: I don’t matter.

[Jonathan Craig @JonCraigComedy]

I don’t talk about smoking weed on stage, for the same reason that Popeye never mentions the spinach.

#WeedStock

[Jeff Dye @JeffDye]

EVERYONE come to LA and vote for @spencerpratt . Even if you don’t live here, you don’t need an ID. If they ask for your ID just call them racist.

[Jonathan Craig @JonCraigComedy]

@gamestop I’ll do it. ✅

[Jonathan Craig @JonCraigComedy]

They always pour Gatorade on the coach that wins. I think they should pour lemonade on the coach that loses. You have now been Elemonaided. 🍋

#NCAANationalChampionship #Hoosiers #Hurricanes #PMSLive

[Jonathan Craig @JonCraigComedy]

It’s crazy that ESPN/Disney doesn’t/can’t stream live sports 🏈 in Dolby Atmos, like @Peacock does.

🤔 It’s hard to imagine that @peacock has more money💰or better technology, than @Disney @espn

Who’s giving you advice, @Nintendo?

Do better!

#NFLPlayoffs #ESPN

[Jonathan Craig @JonCraigComedy]

@BostonConnr I’ve noticed the Atlanta Falcons aren’t slipping all over the field. Maybe it’s time for a new equipment team in Tampa. One that knows how to use cleats.

[Jonathan Craig @JonCraigComedy]

@konstructivizm So does my uncle. 🤷🏻‍♂️

[Jonathan Craig @JonCraigComedy]

These Rams jerseys are horrible. What color is that, ace bandage?

Nothing looks tougher than having yellow stripes down your legs.

#WorstJerseyEver #RamsHouse #NFL #RavensFlock #Patmcafee

[Jonathan Craig @JonCraigComedy]

These Rams jerseys look like they still smoke in the house. 🏠 💨

#RamsHouse #NFL #RavensFlock #Patmcafee

[Jonathan Craig @JonCraigComedy]

Apparently, in football you’re allowed to cheat, as long as it’s within one yard.

This does not apply to marriage.

#MNF #Cheifs #Jacksonvillejaguars

[Jonathan Craig @JonCraigComedy]

Tom MacDonald - CHARLIE https://t.co/vTwk9MaTWL via @YouTube

[AB @AB84]

The shit that needs to stop in this country

When I stood up there with Trump… I knew ppl would try to take me down and be out to get me… which happened

Sad world we live in

Hoping Charlie pulls through 🙏🏿

[Jeff Dye @JeffDye]

Absolutely gutted. What in the world are we doing?? Sending prayers to CK and his family.

[Shaun Maguire @shaunmmaguire]

The Left lectured us for the last decade about the dangers of violence from the Right

From the assassination attempts of President Trump

To Brian Thompson, the United Healthcare CEO, being murdered

Now to Charlie Kirk

The danger was actually on the Left

[Jonathan Craig @JonCraigComedy]

Dear #NFL

Are we sure these tiny shoulder pads are working? Seems to be a lot of players with shoulder injuries… 🤔
@DrakeLondon_ @DarnellMooney9 @xavierworthy67

[Jonathan Craig @JonCraigComedy]

That tart guy has now batted four passes and a Travis Kelce.

#NFLKickoff #YouTubeLIVE

[Jonathan Craig @JonCraigComedy]

How do you explain to your congregation that apparently God is just an Ohio State fan?

#ncaafootball #OSU #osufootball #osubuckeyes

[NO CONTEXT HUMANS @HumansNoContext]

I thought that shit only worked in films

[Jonathan Craig @JonCraigComedy]

When did wrestling gets so goddamn boring? Literally 27 minutes into this Netflix, WWE shit, and there hasn’t even been two dudes that have looked at each other yet. 👎🏻

#Boring #Zzzzzzzzz #AbsoluteCrap

[Jonathan Craig @JonCraigComedy]

@bakermayfield is already the second best QB in @Buccaneers history.

Sorry, Byron Leftwich, Brad Johnson, Trent Dilfer, Sean, King, Chris Simms, Bruce Gradkowski, and kid from Kansas that I don’t remember.

#TampaBay #Buccaneers #NFL

[Jonathan Craig @JonCraigComedy]

So, We can point an instrument at a planet that is light years away, you can tell what that planet is made of, & what the temperature on that planet is, but somehow you can’t tell anything about the mysterious drone that’s flying 100 feet over my head.

Somebody is full of shit.