Jon Howlett

Patent pending. All puns intended.

[Jon Howlett @JonHowlett]

Another idea for purgatory:
You're queueing for your plane, obediently waiting for your boarding group. Your boarding group number is an 8 rotated 90⁰.
You sit, charging your phone, for the rest of eternity.

[Jon Howlett @JonHowlett]

Idea for purgatory: you're at baggage reclaim and there is an endless stream of all the luggage in the world except yours. And that's it. For the rest of eternity.

[Jon Howlett @JonHowlett]

@MissRowland13 The film might actually match the book. Little girl who acts as Kya 💔

[Jon Howlett @JonHowlett]

@HowlettEmma Ping

[Jon Howlett @JonHowlett]

April is literally impossible to dress for - am I going to freeze in a t-shirt and shorts or sweat my way through a jumper all day? #JosephHeller

[Jon Howlett @JonHowlett]

Surely the only thing worse than being in the FriendZone (wouldn't know, never been there x) must be Ne-Yo's song FriendZone

[NFL Memes @NFLMemes]

50 Cent lookin more like 75 Cents these days

[Jon Howlett @JonHowlett]

No one:

Apple: stuck between my teeth

[ely kreimendahl @ElyKreimendahl]

my two year old just said “mommy why is life the same every day?” like damn existential queen! u tell me

[Jon Howlett @JonHowlett]

New hobby: taking a break from looking at screens by looking at different screens

[Jon Howlett @JonHowlett]

@FraserNelson Use 0 as the bottom of your x-axis so the perception of the image doesn't distort the statistical reality

[Jon Howlett @JonHowlett]

We finally won a thing #lfc

[Jon Howlett @JonHowlett]

Why do dads hold their car keys in their hands at all times?

[Jon Howlett @JonHowlett]

What's the past tense of 'pick and choose'?

[Jon Howlett @JonHowlett]

@GingerSpiiiiice @EverySheriff Jesus

[Jon Howlett @JonHowlett]

@FakeHeadteacher @GingerSpiiiiice do you run this account?!

[Jon Howlett @JonHowlett]

@GlennyRodge @GingerSpiiiiice

[Jon Howlett @JonHowlett]

@GingerSpiiiiice @PicturesFoIder 'ok this is my 37th clap - make sure you're getting it right this time if you missed the 36th'

[Jon Howlett @JonHowlett]

@GingerSpiiiiice @MaxFagin Well that was fascinating

[Jon Howlett @JonHowlett]

@MatthewBerryTMR @Hiscott @GPhughess