Hapsburg Jaw Morant

Just some guy. Based and Okapi-pilled. (mostly posts about animals, movies, music, warhammer 40k, and reality television)

[Hapsburg Jaw Morant @JonStecker]

I want my gravestone to be like that sketch in Jackass 2 where the writing gets smaller and smaller so when people lean in to read it an airbag pops out and knocks them backwards

[Brandon D. Wilson @Geniusbastard]

Now they’re gerrymandering the box office. This isn’t a movie so much as it’s crowdfunding a completed project. Leave it to conservatives to pioneer a new scam.

[Hapsburg Jaw Morant @JonStecker]

Watching Jurassic Park. More blockbusters should feature beginning scenes where the leading man verbally dismantles and humiliates a child.

[Hapsburg Jaw Morant @JonStecker]

oh ok that's fine then

[WDBJ7 @WDBJ7]

A 16-year-old boy killed in an accident at a Wisconsin sawmill appears to have been doing work allowed by state child labor laws when he was injured. #RIP. https://t.co/K15zZWKXLT

[Hapsburg Jaw Morant @JonStecker]

you don't see paninis as much as you used to

[Hapsburg Jaw Morant @JonStecker]

@TheJoshHemmings hahahahaha fair

[Hapsburg Jaw Morant @JonStecker]

in my boxed wine era

[Hapsburg Jaw Morant @JonStecker]

Finally watching season 2 of The Bear and all I have to say is Moffat-hive rise UP #moffathive

[Hapsburg Jaw Morant @JonStecker]

4:3 aspect ratio Family Guy hits different

[Hapsburg Jaw Morant @JonStecker]

We used to be a proper country…

[WhatsOnStage @WhatsOnStage]

For the first time in 44 years Andrew Lloyd Webber does not have a musical on Broadway https://t.co/1mMm0gvi7j

[Hapsburg Jaw Morant @JonStecker]

Men only want one thing for Father’s Day:

A cube made of pure tungsten.

[Hapsburg Jaw Morant @JonStecker]

When I tweeted this yesterday I had not yet heard about their pride stuff and was just a weird coincidence lol

[Hapsburg Jaw Morant @JonStecker]

I have never had a good time at a Cracker Barrel

[Hapsburg Jaw Morant @JonStecker]

At this point I give Trump being charged with a crime like reports of minor earthquakes nearby

[Hapsburg Jaw Morant @JonStecker]

I have never had a good time at a Cracker Barrel

[Hapsburg Jaw Morant @JonStecker]

Raquelle's reunion epilogue is my wife's Zapruder film

[Hapsburg Jaw Morant @JonStecker]

was not expecting to see Marshawn Lynch in this trailer but I'm into it

[Bottoms @bottomsmovie]

want to get punched in the face by hot girls? WELL GET IN LINE. directed by Emma Seligman, starring @Rachel_Sennott and @AyoEdebiri, watch the explicit red band trailer for #BottomsMovie now.

in select theaters August 25 + additional cities September 1.

[angery foosh 🐟 @teaandrobots]

....I'm sorry, did I just learn there's one specific person in Ohio with an impossibly massive viral load of a unique covid variant that we only know about because they're pissing so much of it into the local sewers it shows up as a graph outlier like fuckin Viruses Georg

[Hapsburg Jaw Morant @JonStecker]

*Mitch Hedburg voice*
“Every sword is a death sword. Let me know when someone makes a life sword.”

[Cool Box Art @CoolBoxArt]

Death Sword / PC / Epyx / 1988

[Hapsburg Jaw Morant @JonStecker]

lots of stupid people in this city

[Sergio Olmos @MrOlmos]

About 100 people are gathered to protest a Pride assembly and LGBTQ education in schools at an Elementary school in Los Angeles.

Protestors are wearing shirts that read “leave our kids alone” and chanting about “grooming”

Police are keeping them off school grounds.

[Hapsburg Jaw Morant @JonStecker]

James Kennedy is absolutely yacked out of his mind in this reunion lol